Importance of people

Isn't it strange how stress has to be dispelled while happiness seems to fade all on its own? Seems rather unfair if you ask me. This thought came to me as I started to write because today was very stressful, but this weekend was nothing but joy. The sad thing was that as the weekend ended and today came, the giddy happiness that had claimed hold of me was vanishing. Later on, that feeling was replaced with stress, which I have worked hard to reduce this evening. This disparity seems frustratingly sided against what is in our best interest. Maybe it just goes to show you that you have to hold on to the joys in your life... and maybe more importantly the people who make them.

I can definitely acknowledge the latter part of that statement considering that the bulk of my positive time this weekend was due to the fact that I spent it with a person who never ceases to bring a smile to my face and joy to my heart. It's amazing how there are just some people that enter your life that can always move you more than you can explain. I don't know for sure what this can be attributed to, but whatever force it is, I must say that it is compelling. No one can ever say what the future will bring, but I am sure that if we are able to find and hold onto the people like that in our lives, our world would seem that much better.

Heh. It's interesting how many thoughts run through my mind when I think or talk about these subjects... and this person. The more I think about it, the more I realize how lucky I am to have people like him in my life. The road we have traveled together has been littered with mines, and yet when we are together, the trials and time between us seem to fade away into nothing. There are few people who can ever have that effect, and I have to say that they are the greatest friends, and therefore the greatest treasures in all the world.

I get angry at myself to think of all the people I have inadvertently let slip out of my life. What if one of them could be such a great friend to me? What if I could be that friend to them? There are so many ridiculous things in life that get in the way of the things- the people we should really be focusing on. Life's uncertaintly only further creates the need for us to hold on to the bonds we make. I must say that I am not necessarily the best at doing this. Even with the friend I saw this weekend, part of our estrangement was my own fault. Due to circumstances, I was unable to give the same time to him that I did before. Now, distance more than time seperates us, and I would give anything to have the time I gave up back. Although his case is quite special, it is not unique. I could make a list of family members and friends over the years that I have lost touch with simply because "the real world" intruded upon us. The time I spent at Harvard comes to mind. While there, I made friends from all across the world. The time we spent together was amazing. Were you to ask me then, I would say that I would be friends with most of them for the rest of my life. Flash forward to the presesnt, and I haven't seen anyone since we left school, and I only even talk to one or two of them at all, none with the regularity I should.

Well, this is certainly not the direction I had intended this to go. I suppose that's the joy and plight of writing what you think and feel: sometimes your heart and mind take you to places you never wanted to explore. Maybe having finally written this down I will be able to hold myself to some of the efforts I so often promise myself that I will make. I mean of course this is not the first time I have felt the need to bridge the gaps that have seperated those in my life, but it never fails that all my attempts fizzle out as time goes on and "things come up." I hear all the time that the best way to set goals is to write them down, and even better if you tell someone about them. Perhaps this will kind of work along the same lines. I am writing, and I am telling people... Maybe when I write in this journal and I think about what I have written before, I will remember my commitment, and it will stay with me. I am not naieve enough to believe that things will not come up, and that there won't be gaps I can't bridge, but at least this way, maybe the effort will produce something. Maybe it will bring back someone to my life, and me to theirs.

Okay! Enough for now. I will know next time to be careful what I write when thinking about someone that I deeply care for. The depth of those feelings seem to be able to unearth an even more random set of cheesy musings than normal (and as you know, for me, that is certainly saying something). So for now, I bid you adieu.