New Year, New Beginnings?

It's that time of year again. The time when people celebrate the successes and lament over the failures they've had over the last year. Most of us take a moment to think about the year ahead, and all the brightness we hope it will bring.

One general theme that is present as the year ends is summed up by a catch-phrase that Nate has started to use: "New Year, New Beginnings." This is a great one for us, given that the year is ending with much of our lives in upheaval, and the prospect of starting fresh is incredibly appealing. Having many friends in the same position, I feel this gloom-to-optimism sentimentality all around. One has to wonder though, is this actually true? Is the New Year actually a New Beginning?

I am a big fan of retrospective technology these days. Using Timehop, Facebook, and Google, I am regularly reminded of what has come before. For the first time, as I looked back upon this year, I also looked back on this day- December 31st- for the last several years. Given my passion for startups it may be not entirely surprising that out of the last 10 New Year's Eves, I have been unemployed 5 of them. I was single for 7 of them. Each year, no matter what, I made a blog, status, or the like indicating how excited I was for the upcoming year. Each year- like so many others- I started out the year with a bang. New health, more passion, more action. Each year I moved leaps and bounds over where I was just a few days before. Despite this, so many of those years I ended up back in the same position. Looking back, the same thing has happened to so many others.

So back to the question. Are new years, actually new beginnings? If the patterns keep repeating, are we actually starting fresh? Moreover, is it helpful that we fall into the same cycle? Perhaps strangely, I think the answer is "yes."

I strongly believe the slightly annoying truth of the universe is that it proves what you need, not what you want. Humans are inherently creatures of habit, and often it takes times of darkness to move us from the grey our lives have become to the light that they truly can be. I think that we are inherently led towards change and upheaval towards the end of the year. Whether it is our sub-conscious, or a greater power taking a hand, the simple fact of the matter is that we need renewal, and so we get it- the kicking and screaming that may follow be damned.

Like nature- which must go through the winter and cycle of seeming lifelessness- so too must some aspects of our life wither or die in order for us to renew them or another aspect of ourselves. Ended relationships often create a renewed focus on ourselves. We're normally driven to be more healthier and look after ourselves. Many times we also renew the relationships with our friends that we may have neglected. Lost jobs force us to focus on our life and many times we see moments where we may have given up our passions in favor of our paychecks. These traumatic events can't- and shouldn't- happen all the time, but the renewal should.

New Year's Eve falls at a perfect time to create these feelings in us, even when things seem to be going well. We have just come off the holidays, which seem to almost always be an insane mix of happiness/nostalgia, and pain/angst. We get closer to our families and friends, while also realizing everything about them that drives us insane. It's a time of high stress, putting our relationships on a thin line, and our jobs more easily prove how much or little they seem to care about the people running their day-to-day. Is it any wonder that we always end the year looking for something better?

In short, New Year's Eve is a needed reset. It's incredibly valuable to take the time to reset ourselves. Even knowing that we'll likely do the exact same thing next year, and that we'll probably not do all the great things we set out to do starting tomorrow, its value is still absolute. Take the time to look back and see what you want to add to your life. See what you want to throw away. Become excited about the things that will change, but also work to ensure that what was amazing about the year isn't lost. Enjoy the roller coaster you rode in 2015, then be excited for 2016 and the roller coaster you know it will certainly be, new beginnings and all.

Hamilton I - Write Like You're Running Out of Time

Sometimes we see or hear something that moves us to inspiration. In the musical, "Hamilton," Lin-Manuel Miranda evoked powerful thoughts with both words and images. As such, this begins a series of thought posts derived from the show:

Writing. A single word that contains one of the greatest assets humanity has ever achieved. Its expression has shown us many of our greatest heroes and geniuses throughout history. Hamilton was one of those. His modern rendition says he "wrote like he's running out of time." Like so many others, the power of the written word was his greatest strength. It was through writing that he was able to truly help shape the nation. The power of writing exemplified.

Without writing we would have no true history, our ability to pass knowledge from one generation to the next would be limited to the words of our immediate elders. As society has advanced, so too has our writing. The printing press made our words extend to more and more people while advances in transportation allowed our words to reach the furthest corners of the world. The modern world took that to unprecedented heights with the advent of the internet.

The worldwide web created the ability for our words to be shared with the entire world in an instant. Our private correspondence can be shared with loved ones thousands of miles away without delay. The writing we want to share with the public can now be broadcast far and wide without cost and with unlimited range.

Such advancement has changed the very fabric of our communications, and yet the speed at which our writing has progressed over the last few decades has left us with little time to catch up. So many tools, so many places where the written word can be seen, and yet the question that must be asked, is what do we do with them?

In the time of the USA’s Founding Fathers, Alexander Hamilton made a name for himself almost exclusively through his writing. He wrote to support his own advancement then used that same skill on letters of entreaty to support the Revolution. When our country was being formed, he wrote thoughts into law, and then wrote essays and “papers” to garner support for the government being created, most notably with the Federalist Papers. Some say that he even wrote much of his own political downfall with the Reynolds Pamphlet.  Literally thousands of papers were written by this man and read by a nation in need of his words.  But what would all this look like if he lived today?

One of the greatest benefits to the technology of the written word today is our access to near unlimited amounts of information. Unfortunately, this is also one of its greatest weaknesses.  With access to so much information, it becomes that much harder to ensure that any single piece is read. Thoughts stream into the web in blogs, blurbs, and statuses and we are left with the nearly impossible task of sifting through it all. 

Technology has of course attempted to assist with this. We can use apps to feed us updates from specific sites of our choosing. Facebook works hard to show us things trending that also match our interests. But does this actually aid us or simply make it worse. Humans by nature are drawn to those who are most like us. Given the overwhelming amount of information available, it is easy to feel like all of the world agrees with us, despite the fact that we’re only accessing a select amount of the writing that exists. Our ideas more easily feel like facts that can become beliefs. Our bubbles can continue to get smaller and smaller without any real conscious effort. As such, even as our access to it increases, writing that moves us to an action that we otherwise wouldn’t have taken becomes more and more rarely read.

That doesn’t even touch upon our seemingly never-ending pursuit of the fastest and yet most exciting type of information… but that is a greater topic in an of itself. The fact of the matter is, that even the greatest writers face great challenges in having their thoughts and ideas brought to the fore. Even as a I write this- inspired by Hamilton’s passion and talent for writing- I am subtly aware that though billions of people in the world will have access to my words, only a handful will read them. Less will embrace the thoughts within them, and even less will be spurned into any sort of action.

Can a small voice be heard in a crowd of so many? One has to wonder how many geniuses are unheard through all the noise in the world. How many ideas and thoughts that could change the world are written into being only to be unseen amongst the deluge of the masses? Does the knowledge of this nearly insurmountable hurdle hold us back from “writing like we’re running out of time?” The idealist in me would like to think that it’s not so, but as I look back at my own history, and those of so many writers I know, I feel that the weight of making our word heard can certainly have its effect on us.

Is there any remedy to this conundrum? Is there a way for the Hamiltons of the future to make their mark with their writing? Is there a way for them to sway us with the power of the written word? Perhaps the answer is as simple as continuing to encourage as much reading and writing as we can. Perhaps society will adapt in a way that makes use of our tools without losing out on the brilliant thoughts of the individual.

Sweating the small stuff

This is a post I made for my gym group, but figured it was worth posting. Enjoy!

So I know that a lot of people start thinking about goals this time of year. We look back at what we've done this year, and we look forward to what we want to accomplish next year. This is a super powerful thing to do in life and specifically for our ninja health.

Of course about 1 month from now is when almost all of us start kicking ourselves for "failing" our New Year's resolution. Lots of smart people have written about how to help make "attainable" goals, so I'm not going to spend time waxing on that. What I do want to talk about is Sweating the Small Stuff.

Sweating the Small Stuff has a bad wrap. It is definitely important to let insignificant things roll of our backs, but the phrase can have a really positive connotation. We're Ninjas. We like sweat. When it comes to goals, Sweating the Small stuff is what it's all about.

It's great to set big goals for ourselves. "Lose 40lbs," "Get a promotion," Etc. The problem with these goals is it's easy to kick ourselves when it takes a LONG time. Most of these big goals don't happen overnight. Or sometimes even within a few months. The question is what do we do in the meantime? Someone really smart once said that a journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step. Of course that first step doesn't take us very close to our goal. By about step 100, we're probably ready to call it quits.

The way to avoid this frustration is to create small goals that build to your larger. Ideally, these aren't even counted in the same way. If you want to lose 30lbs., don't make a goal that says "I want to lose 5lbs" and rinse and repeat. Maybe one of your small goals will be to make sure you hit the gym AT LEAST 18 times this month. You know that this will help you get there. But you also have a very short time period to allow yourself some small celebration for achieving that goal. Allotting yourself smaller goals allows you to have a lot of small victories. It also allows you more room if you slip up. It minimizes the vicious cycle that is so easy for us to fall into by allowing a mistake to assume we've destroyed our goal. It helps keep us from procrastinating. Varying which goals you focus on also helps alleviate boredom while working hard to get what you want.

So remember Ninjas. We all want and deserve big things in our life. Lets Sweat the Small Stuff to help us make sure that we get there. Oh and enjoy my new inspiration below. :)

A Snatched Life

Anyone who has talked to me for more than about 5 minutes will tell you that when I believe in a product or service, I am intensely passionate about it. So when asked to write a testimonial about my experience in the 6-Week "get fit" program called Snatched, I thought I was in for a no brainer exercise. What I realized as I sat down to write is that what happened in the last 6 weeks touched so many aspects of my life, that I was having a difficult time summing up exactly what it was about this program that affected me so much. It was at that point I realized it was time to dig in deep. Luckily I have this lovely space with which to expound upon thoughts and ideas as much as I please.

First the quick background. Mark Fisher Fitness (MFF). I had heard of this place because I work a lot with Broadway Cares, specifically with Broadway Bares, and this year MFF was a big sponsor, helping several of the dancers get where they wanted to be before the big show. Seeing their commitment to a cause I care about, it was no surprise that when I wanted to shake up my fitness life I looked towards them. When I went on their site, I was instantly hooked by the great atmosphere they seemed to project, including lots of glittery rainbows and epic unicorns. I could tell that they took their motto "Ridiculous Humans, Serious Fitness" very seriously. I was cracking up over phrases like "sex may count a your day's physical activity, but I'd have to see it in action to be sure" and "Not sure about us? Let's just hook up." I decided if I was goi
ng to do something, this is where I would go. All I needed was the catalyst.

If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, I guess sometimes the opposite can be true as well. I came to MFF after a hard break-up intent on using our vacation money to get what I affectionately referred to as my "revenge body." I heard about this program called "Snatched" that was meant to really get results and set you up for success in 6 weeks. I decided to take the plunge. What happened was surprising. I joined focused on revenge, and I left it focused on me.

The first day of Snatched consisted of only 2 things. Mark talking a lot, and the taking of "before" pictures. When Mark spoke, he gave us a lot of information, and I realized that I wasn't in for some standard boot camp. In fact he asked us not to call Snatched a boot camp, and after that first week, there's no way I could see it as one. The first thing that was apparent was that everyone there really cared. And they cared so much they wanted us to succeed no matter what kind of people we were. They knew that sitting in the audience were OCD types who needed exact specifications and measurements as much as there were ADD types who wanted the big picture and how to deal with the slip ups we were already planning on. They wanted to make sure that all of us got the same love and attention and were able to hit our goals whatever they may be.

During all of Snatched (and in general at MFF) we're always told to "run our own race." At first this was a bit exasperating. What was I doing if not asking for someone to tell me what to do? What I realized is that they were giving me the tools to find my own success. Tools that I could take with me after this 6 week bubble was over. I also realize, it put the definition of success squarely on my shoulders. Every single instructor talked about how we know ourselves better. Were we having a high energy day that we could push ourselves beyond what we normally did? Were we struggling a bit and needing to scale back? These were our choices. They were there to push us to push ourselves, not to push us to get anything done.

The most important thing that MFF gave me was community. Snatched in particular gave me a group of people who really supported me and what I wanted to do. It made me realize that any of my friends at work who said things like "Ugh you're going to the gym again?" or the like simply weren't worth listening to. It also made me realize that there are lots of people out there who were totally supportive of me, and that I should be drawn to them as much as possible! I think that this sense of support and community is created so much in Snatched and at MFF because of the staff. When I hire people, I always look for a "fit." Were I to guess, I think Mark makes that his absolute 100% deal-breaker in hiring decisions. There was not a person- not a single one- at the clubhouse who didn't introduce themselves if they hadn't met me, or use my name once they had. There isn't anyone on staff who I felt uncomfortable around despite putting myself in very vulnerable positions. This sense of community made it harder for me to even imagine missing a class. I went from at most hitting the gym a couple times a week to NEVER making it to less than 5 days a week. This was an incredible change for me.

One of the most annoying things that the trainers would say when I first started was "How you do anything is how you do everything." This first of all was very life-coachy, and not in the good ways. I was there to get fit, not hear stuff like this. Oh how wrong I was. It wasn't until nearly the end of the program that I started to understand what was actually being said. I did the gym the same way I did everything else. If I was passionate about it, I would give it my all. If not, well I would suck at it. What they did was remind me over and over again that if I really wanted this, I had to figure out how to make it work for ME. For me that was finding my passion. Finding my reason to come every single day and get my ass kicked. To find the sense of belonging that I would literally fell bereft without if I wasn't able to make it.

The last thing that I really got out of this program is how much the gym matters in the grand scheme of things. I used to go both ways. I'd beat myself up if I missed the gym, and laude myself if I made it there. It didn't matter if on the former days I was making otherwise super healthy choices or on the latter I ate 6 cupcakes at work. The gym was my definition of health. What I learned more than anything is that it is just a piece of the pie. It's important. And my dedication to getting there is an easy benchmark for my dedication to my health. But equally important are the other aspects of my life. What I eat, how much I sleep, how much I take care of myself. All are part of health, and all are important aspects of my life.

Snatched changed my body. The pictures show it, my friend's exclaimed comments show it, and every time I look in the mirror I see it. What I didn't expect Snatched to do was change the way I look at keeping myself healthy, and the way I factor that into my life. MFF and Snatched showed me that "Health and Hotness" is important, simple, and best done with friends. I won't pretend I didn't put a lot of work into what I did. But I learned that it is easier than I thought, especially since I have help. I learned that putting my body at the top of my priority list is as important as any other aspect of taking care of myself.

My 6 weeks of "Snatching" are over, but my journey into a Snatched life are just beginning. I didn't get everything I wanted in 6 weeks, and frankly, without a magic wand, I never would have. This is probably good. If I already had a 6 pack and great definition everywhere, what more would I have to work on? Instead these 6 weeks gave me the strength of self and the physical confidence to get exactly what I want. Being fit isn't a destination, it's a journey. I'm lucky enough to have unicorns, rainbows and ninjas on mine, and I couldn't be more excited.

Associated Light

Lately I have had the privilege of being surrounded by some amazing people. Some are new people to my life. Others are long time friends who's lives have taken off in brilliant and amazing ways. Even many of my friends from afar seem to be doing stellar things in the world. Perhaps this has been happening for a long time and I am just realizing it do to a random chain of events, or perhaps new heights are appearing at a similar time. Either way, most of the people in my life are to put it bluntly: rocking it out in their own ways.

I am met with several simultaneous emotions when I look at their impact to the world, and to my life. First, I realize how lucky I am to have these people in my life. Where my life has led me could have gone in millions of different directions, and yet whatever has happened- the good and the bad- has brought me here. I think sometimes it's easy to lose sight of that. I have had many struggles and failures in my life to match my successes, but without those, I know that my life would be very different, and more importantly I would probably not know the people that I know now.

The second emotion that I feel is proud of myself. One thing that the great people that I know remind me of is that I deserve to be there. No matter how successful, or famous, or incredible these people are, they choose to keep me in their lives. Even when I am down and out, the fact that these people choose to know me and be my friends proves that I have something to offer.

This "something" that I have to offer brings me to my final, and more complicated feeling. Despite my linguistic proficiency, I am unable to place into a word what this feeling is. The last few weeks have brought me both frustration at where I'm at and a desire and drive to push forward and do more. For the first time these two aspects seem to be melded into a single emotion, that keeps me a little bewildered. Regardless, suffice to say that I know that I need to meet the challenge that has been unintentionally laid out before me. Dark times have hit. What I need to remember is that fire always gives off light and heat and chases the darkness away. Hiding from myself or my struggles will not push back the darkness or lead me to new places. It is the moments when I forget that I live my life by fire, both internally and externally that I lose sight of where I'm going, and my ability to get there.

Darkness can only live in the absence of light. My friends have reminded me that my light shines even when I forget it's there. It is time to reignite myself and be everything that I am. It's time to once again see exactly how brightly I can burn.

2010 has gone, but 2011, I'm glad you're here!

It wouldn't be a New Year without looking back at what has gone and looking ahead at what is yet to come.

Two weeks ago, as the year was drawing to a close, a new chapter of my life began. I am now two weeks into my "thirties" and that on top of this New Year have me looking forward with new vigor.

The last two years have been rough. Last year about this time, I vowed to live my life more fully even in dark times, and in many ways, I succeeded. I entered into a great new relationship, that though it ended eventually, we lived it well. I finally went outside the U.S. for traveling. I wrote more, loved more, and experienced more.

I started coaching again, something I have sorely missed. I saw more theatre. I moved my best friend in all the world in with me. In nearly all things, I have done more. Strangely, I have done all this with less. This year, my living and financial situation was even worse than before. To see how much more I have been able to do though, really proves to me something I have always believed: The world is maleable. We may not be able to have everything we want, but we can create for ourselves a better life if we try.

So that was last year. What does that mean for the one we have just embarked on? This year- the first of my thirties- I want MORE. It was at my birthday party that I first put this into words, and it is something I plan to hold on to. Last year I proved what I can do with little. This year, I intend to be DONE with "little." The economy is recovering. My roots in NYC have been planted deeper, my connections grown. And I'm 30. Some of my friends have hit this milestone with dread, but I hit it as is so unsurprising- with incredible optimism. I am excited to be living in this time and at the age I'm at.

At this moment, I feel like the world is ready to open up even more for me. I can nearly feel a satisfying job and the hint of love right around the corner. Songs have said it far better than I, but I don't know what either of these look like yet, but I know they are right there waiting for me. And I intend to take them.

So this year, I will live with more. I will continue to take forward the valuable lessons I learned last year, and live deeper. I will do even more in the places that I "slacked off" and allowed myself to resign myself to my fate. Then I will take all of this possibility, and I will add to it new adventure and new stability. If I can live well with little, this year I intend to prove that I can live the life incredible as I add more too it.

At one point in my life I was incredibly successful. Partially because of my youth and inexperience, I didn't live a great life when I had that success. Though I don't regret it all, I know now that there is so much more to life that I can have when I embrace and utilize my success. So this year, having learned those lessons, I intend to create success... and then use it well!

Here's to a new decade in time, a new decade of my life, and to a new year of immense possibility!

The Keys to Power

A friend of mine wrote in his blog recently about the keys to Power. His writing made me think a great deal, and as he asked for comments, I tried to put some down for him. I tried several times before realizing that I had far too much to think about- and subsequently to say- than I could put into a simple "comment." As such, I now write for you.

Now first it is important to determine what we're talking about when we mention the word "power." This can be especially tough with such an over-arching word, as there are 32 different definitions in the English dictionary. Clearly many can be ruled out based upon the subject matter, but there are still many to choose from. I bring up this point not to split hairs, but rather to point out that what we view as a powerful person can mean many things. What do we mean when we say a person is powerful or that they have power?

Philosophically, "Power is a measure of an entity's ability to control the environment around itself, including the behavior of other entities." I think that sums things up quite nicely, as it covers all ranges of power from that of a parent to a child, or a world leader, or even a man adjusting nature to himself.

So if this is true, then anything that helps a person control the environment or behavior of others makes him more powerful.

My friend says that there are eight keys to making a person powerful. In brief, they are:

1. Money
2. Fame
3. Charm
4. Aesthetic Faculties (Looks)
5. Influence
6. Fear
7. Authority
8. Knowledge

He notes also that some people are capable of being powerful, and others not, and that the most important of the keys he listed are charm, knowledge and influence.

But what does power mean to me? What makes someone powerful? I agree with my friend in many aspects.

• Money- Totally agree. I have often said that some people become influential because they are talented and lucky. Money is the only sure way to control influence in our society. The entire Earth has seen the effects of Bill Gates, and not just for computers. He has changed art, science, and the welfare of millions of people by choosing where and how his money will be spent.
• Fame- Notoriety is certainly an important aspect. We put trust and faith in people that are well known, regardless of whether or not they deserve such accolades. When a celebrity asks us to do something, we are more likely to do it than if we were asked by someone else. When a disaster happens, who is it that makes us break out our checkbooks with their telethons? Celebrities. 
• Charm- I would say that this is better described as Charisma than charm, but definitely important. Some people just have a knack of getting people to follow them. This natural ability is definitely a driving force in being innately powerful. Think JFK and MLK. Charisma incarnate.
• Looks- Our society has definitely shown that looks matter. We can remember how this was historically illustrated, possibly for the first time in the Nixon v Kennedy debates that were televised for the first time. Kennedy looked smooth and confident, and had good looks. Nixon... was none of these. Most experts agree that this was critical for the results of the election. We as a society let our initial impression of looks determine who we think a person is, and thus what kind of power and influence they have over us.
• Influence- I actually think that power is influence, and vice versa, so would remove this from the list and use this word interchangeably.
• Fear- Sadly an incredible tool to becoming powerful. A person's innate weaknesses are multiplied when they are faced with fear. It is easy to let fear rule us. That said, fear can never create lasting power, because there is no loyalty behind it. The moment that fear isn't present, or the person in power shows any weakness, their power is instantly eroded. Though it may be the easiest road to power, it is the weakest method of staying there. Every dictator that has risen to and fallen from power is a testament to both the power and weakness in fear.
• Authority- We do respect authority as a default. If someone has been given (or earned) a position of power, we innately view them as powerful. Think of cops, or judges, etc. that you respect the "uniform" if not the person behind it. I would definitely say that again, this is a weaker form of power, but is visible in our society every day.
• Knowledge- The most potent form of power may also sadly be the least effective today. We seem to almost turn against those whom are experts in their field, or who actually house knowledge. There is nothing... I repeat... nothing so powerful as knowledge, but in the eyes of others, said knowledge can unfortunately shine far less than a more flashy, if less useful method of gaining power.

I would say that there are 2 additional keys to power that we have thus far overlooked. The first of these is insight. Though tied in some ways to knowledge, insight is more an innate ability to see the heart of a matter and to see it's truth. Knowledge can be gained through insight, but the reverse is not often true. A person with incredible insight will be able to out-position someone with incredible knowledge almost every time. 

A tragic example of this would be Karl Rove. This man carries a limited amount of the aforementioned claims to power, but he instinctively knew how the tides of society were shifting and how to make the most of it. He lacked the knowledge of most of his peers, didn't have the authority of the highest ranking offices, certainly doesn't have much in the way of looks or charisma, though clearly was one of the most powerful people in our country for the last decade. Power indeed.

Finally, I will present intention. Intention may be the most commonly overlooked, but the most vital key to power that there is. A person with true and clear intentions can often clear paths where no other method could. People with intention always seem to be able to accomplish more than you could ever expect with less money, a "lower" position, etc. I contend that this holds completely with the premise that the universe is malleable. Humans have far more control than most of us would like to admit, and it is our intention that makes things happen. It is no coincidence that people who set solid goals achieve them, even if they shouldn't logistically seem to do so. Being clear about what we want, far more than the how or the why will bring us greater results, and when it comes to power, what could be a more clear indicator than the results?

So what's the conclusion? Power is available to all of us. Some of us have it innately. Some of us have more keys to power than others. The most powerful people in our society are the ones that are able to combine their keys seamlessly to create an overwhelming sense of influence and authority. That said, each and every one of us contains our own keys, and it is just a matter of whether or not we choose to use them to make our own little universe a better place to live.

Changed Directions

So I have decided to write about something that has come up in conversations with several of my friends lately that at least in some way touches most people throughout their life. The issue is self worth with regards to progress and goals. Maybe it's the changing of the seasons, but several people have gotten very downtrodden and one of the main things that they seem to have issue with is that they feel like they aren't going anywhere. Since I have had this feeling several times in my life, I can understand completely, but as I have gotten older, I have come to have a greater understanding of the problem, and what to do about it.

I think that there is some inherent need within people to have direction in their lives. For some people (like myself) it is almost a constant driving force, while in others it only occurs to them once in a while, but somewhere deep down, it still exists. No matter which of these people you are, there are points in your life where you stop, look around and when you see yourself with no direction to go, or no ground behind you, it is easy to become down, to lose faith in yourself and feel uncomfortable in your life. I know that there have been several occasions where that has been the case with me.

As most of you know, I am a very ambitious and driven person. In addition, my goals often seem ridiculously grandiose to most people. For me, I have always felt that I had a lot to do in this world, and I have never felt satisfied setting my goals lower than what my heart told me to. In addition, I am, in true Sagittarian form, blindly optimistic, so I can get away with goals that most people balk at. Of course with such high aims, and of course my lack of patience, I often became discouraged at life's challenges.

One of the best examples I can think of is school. Immediately after high school, I went to Harvard, but could only afford to stay for one session. When I came back, I got entangled in the life of my best friend at the time, and basically because of him put of school for the next 2 and a half years. When I finally realized the impact that he was having on my life and the selfish nature with which he was using me, I felt impossibly behind. For me, my life had always been planned around the thought of good grades in high school, followed by college, and from there to make my dreams come true. This horrible deviation derailed me and sent me spiraling down into self defeat.

Since that time, I have realized that my impression was wrong. Although there may have been benefit to avoiding the situation altogether, having lived through it, I had to make the best of what I was left with. What I found was that during that time, I unearthed my natural affinity for business, and learned some of life's most valuable lessons. These things probably wouldn't have happened on my "dream track." Of course since then, I have put some emphasis on school, but it has now been prefaced on learning, not on the degree, and I am no longer willing to sacrifice my life for that peice of paper.

I am now almost 24 years old, and had I followed my road map, I would have graduated a year and a half ago. I would probably even have a good job, although I don't know if I would be happy there. What I have instead is the groundwork for my dream. I have started making the network of businesses which I feel will bring my goals into fruition. Had I not been derailed by life, I may never have found this outlet, and I certainly wouldn't be as far along today as I am. People seem constantly surprised that I have done so much with my life at so young, and I now realize that it wasn't my original intention at all. I simply grasped the straws that I was left with and made the most of it. In retrospect, it was the best thing that could have happened to me.

The moral that I draw from this story is mainly that you can't be defeated. You can't look back on your life and see how little ground you have covered, and let that hold you back. There are going to be times when we feel like we are walking in place. If we stop, then we truly do lose our momentum. It is important to keep going forward towards our goals and to let life throw things in our path. I have always believed that things happen for a reason. Call it fate or the hand of God, I think that we sometimes need to be derailed in order to get where we really want to go.

What I think is the hardest thing for people to do, and yet the thing that must be done is to keep going, and to take value in the small steps that we take. My friend Christopher recently mentioned to me that he had taken "the first step in a million" that had to be taken in order to get to the career goal that he wants. We all go through this. The important thing to realize is that so long as we are moving forward, we are doing what we need. For Christopher, it was his first literary review. Was it with the publication he wanted, or with the title he desires? No. But he was writing. Do I have my degree? No. But I am constantly taking classes that enhance my education. I am making progress. Do I have an international network of businesses that can change the political and social landscape with its reach? No. But I have created the framework. I have a network in place that in the future can grow to the scope I see so far off. We have to look at this forward progression as an accomplishment all on its own.

One of my friends was lamenting about his job, and how he wanted something more. I told him not ot get so hung up on the fact that he didn't have the job that he wanted yet, but instead to look at whether or not he was doing something that was going to get him where he wanted to go in the future. Was he taking classes? Was he meeting people? Was he reading and expanding his horizions to be able to seek out what he wanted? I told him that if any of these answers were yes, then he was making progress. He was moving forward in his life.

Not trying to be cliche, but I truly believe that "Life is a journey, not a destination." We need to make sure that we are on a journey to better ourselves and reach our goals, but at the same time enjoy ourselves along the way. I am not willing to sacrifice my life or those that I love for a single step in my journey. It may take me longer, but I will get there eventually, and because of the life I have led and the people that I have kept close to me along the way, I will be glad that I got there. I guess what I want to say more than anything is that people should have faith in themselves, and let the journey be a good one. Things won't always go as planned, but so long as you keep moving forward and enjoy the scenery while you are there, things will always work in the end.

Worthwhile moments

Today as I was checking my e-mail, I got one of those forwards from one of my friends that are traditionally very cheesy. When I read this one though, I really liked what it said. You know, sometimes it's not such a horrible thing to be reminded of some good things. Cheesy? Maybe; but that doesn't mean that it isn't worthwhile every once in a while. So, I thought I would share this with you, and then talk about it some more. Even if you aren't someone who normally reads things like this, take a minute and do so. It might make you think.

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, "How about going to lunch in a half hour?" She would gasp and stammer, "I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday. I had a late breakfast. It looks like rain." And my personal favorite: "It's Monday." She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches.

We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Stevie toilet-trained.

We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet.

We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older.

The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer.

One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of "I'm going to", "I plan on" , and "Someday, when things are settled down a bit."

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Roller blades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to......not something on your SHOULD DO list.

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Make sure you read this to the end; you will understand why I sent this to you.  

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

Do you run through each day on the fly?

When you ask "How are you?" Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head?

Ever told your child, "We'll do it tomorrow." And in your haste, not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch?

Let a good friendship die?

Just call to say "Hi"? When you worry and hurry through your day, It is like an unopened gift....Thrown away...

Life is not a race. Take it slower.

Hear the music before the song is over.

Okay, so it was still sappy, but a lot of it is really important. I know I have talked before about lost friends and how much it hurts. I like a few things in particular. "When you ask 'How are you?' Do you hear the reply?" I think that more often than not we don't. How many times does the person respond "Okay"? More often than not, this is a standard response, and we just go one with the rest of the conversation. Regardless of what the answer is, there is always more information behind what they said. "Not bad," probably means that there is something bothering them. If you really care how they are, follow up.

Think about when someone says they have "Had a rough day." How often do you agree and launch into your own tale of woe? Often people will try and get someone to listen to them only to find out that they aren't going to get it. When I took Psychology at Harvard, I had an amazing professor, and he told us that the best thing that a psychologist could do was listen. He said that almost no one had someone who would actually listen to them. I thought to prove him wrong, and so I called some very significant people that night, wanting to talk about some of the problems I had. They included my best friend and my parents. Not one of them listened for more than 2 minutes before turning to their own conversations. I went to bed in tears, feeling truly alone. I try to watch myself and catch me from doing things like that to others. Trust me, I know it's hard, but I also think it's worth it.

I don't necessarily agree that you should take life slower, but I think that if you have to make time for the things that you enjoy, and take time for yourself. On top of that, I think that if you take a little more time doing for other people, you will feel much better. I would like to think that there is something within human nature that improves the way we feel about ourselves when we help others. A small effort can turn someone's day completely around. A simple smile or a kind word can go a long way. More than anything, everyone can offer, and can use a sympathetic ear. Listening is one of the best things that you can do for someone else as well as for yourself. I highly recommend it.

Well, I went on that strain for long enough. I am going to go enjoy the rest of my Thursday night.