Hamilton I - Write Like You're Running Out of Time

Sometimes we see or hear something that moves us to inspiration. In the musical, "Hamilton," Lin-Manuel Miranda evoked powerful thoughts with both words and images. As such, this begins a series of thought posts derived from the show:

Writing. A single word that contains one of the greatest assets humanity has ever achieved. Its expression has shown us many of our greatest heroes and geniuses throughout history. Hamilton was one of those. His modern rendition says he "wrote like he's running out of time." Like so many others, the power of the written word was his greatest strength. It was through writing that he was able to truly help shape the nation. The power of writing exemplified.

Without writing we would have no true history, our ability to pass knowledge from one generation to the next would be limited to the words of our immediate elders. As society has advanced, so too has our writing. The printing press made our words extend to more and more people while advances in transportation allowed our words to reach the furthest corners of the world. The modern world took that to unprecedented heights with the advent of the internet.

The worldwide web created the ability for our words to be shared with the entire world in an instant. Our private correspondence can be shared with loved ones thousands of miles away without delay. The writing we want to share with the public can now be broadcast far and wide without cost and with unlimited range.

Such advancement has changed the very fabric of our communications, and yet the speed at which our writing has progressed over the last few decades has left us with little time to catch up. So many tools, so many places where the written word can be seen, and yet the question that must be asked, is what do we do with them?

In the time of the USA’s Founding Fathers, Alexander Hamilton made a name for himself almost exclusively through his writing. He wrote to support his own advancement then used that same skill on letters of entreaty to support the Revolution. When our country was being formed, he wrote thoughts into law, and then wrote essays and “papers” to garner support for the government being created, most notably with the Federalist Papers. Some say that he even wrote much of his own political downfall with the Reynolds Pamphlet.  Literally thousands of papers were written by this man and read by a nation in need of his words.  But what would all this look like if he lived today?

One of the greatest benefits to the technology of the written word today is our access to near unlimited amounts of information. Unfortunately, this is also one of its greatest weaknesses.  With access to so much information, it becomes that much harder to ensure that any single piece is read. Thoughts stream into the web in blogs, blurbs, and statuses and we are left with the nearly impossible task of sifting through it all. 

Technology has of course attempted to assist with this. We can use apps to feed us updates from specific sites of our choosing. Facebook works hard to show us things trending that also match our interests. But does this actually aid us or simply make it worse. Humans by nature are drawn to those who are most like us. Given the overwhelming amount of information available, it is easy to feel like all of the world agrees with us, despite the fact that we’re only accessing a select amount of the writing that exists. Our ideas more easily feel like facts that can become beliefs. Our bubbles can continue to get smaller and smaller without any real conscious effort. As such, even as our access to it increases, writing that moves us to an action that we otherwise wouldn’t have taken becomes more and more rarely read.

That doesn’t even touch upon our seemingly never-ending pursuit of the fastest and yet most exciting type of information… but that is a greater topic in an of itself. The fact of the matter is, that even the greatest writers face great challenges in having their thoughts and ideas brought to the fore. Even as a I write this- inspired by Hamilton’s passion and talent for writing- I am subtly aware that though billions of people in the world will have access to my words, only a handful will read them. Less will embrace the thoughts within them, and even less will be spurned into any sort of action.

Can a small voice be heard in a crowd of so many? One has to wonder how many geniuses are unheard through all the noise in the world. How many ideas and thoughts that could change the world are written into being only to be unseen amongst the deluge of the masses? Does the knowledge of this nearly insurmountable hurdle hold us back from “writing like we’re running out of time?” The idealist in me would like to think that it’s not so, but as I look back at my own history, and those of so many writers I know, I feel that the weight of making our word heard can certainly have its effect on us.

Is there any remedy to this conundrum? Is there a way for the Hamiltons of the future to make their mark with their writing? Is there a way for them to sway us with the power of the written word? Perhaps the answer is as simple as continuing to encourage as much reading and writing as we can. Perhaps society will adapt in a way that makes use of our tools without losing out on the brilliant thoughts of the individual.

Are we our future selves?

Last night I went to the reading of a play called "Billy Redden." While the reading itself went really well and was very entertaining, the thoughts that the play invokes run far deeper than the average performance, and its themes were vastly different than what one can normally see. I also saw "Falling for Eve" this weekend which was a new twist on the Adam and Eve story. Interestingly enough, both these plays touch upon the choices we make in our lives and in free-will.

While I will try not to ruin everything, I am not sure I can write out all my thoughts without spoilers. If you hate that, you may want to move along.

So the basic premise of the first play is this 13-year-old boy who is visited one night by his future selves from every 13 year interval going forward all the way up to a 78-year-old version. Each of these "selves" of course has also experienced this same night every 13 years, and based upon their current place in their lives have varied opinions on the night itself and what it means to "them."

The most moving character throughout most of the play is the 26-year-old (nicknamed "Red"). He is furious most of the night. He feels as though he is forced into areas of his life not by choice, but by the machinations of his older selves. He sees this night for him 13 years ago as a catalyst that took away his choice and he is determined to take it back. He encourages his younger self that he always has a choice, and pushes him to see that he can "break the cycle" and not become what he sees before him.

His anger really sets up the main issue within the play, and the foremost question I think about having left it. What choice do we have in our lives when looking at ourselves in the future. If you were able to meet yourself and see that you become a drunk, would you change it? Could you change it? Many of us believe absolutely in free-will, but when you're faced with yourself it is presumed that these are your choices. Does seeing what you will be allow you to change your future choices? Can you be something other than your current path will allow you to be?

This question often comes up when you wax philosophical about time travel or prophesy. While this may not seem as a pertinent line of thought in today's modern world, it allows us to look at things that have far more to do with who we are and the way we act than it does of the disbelief we may have over why this would ever come about. Religiously the questions are even more pertinent. If God is all-knowing, what choices do you have? Is it possible that you have the ability to make whatever choices you want, but God simply knows what they are? If that's the case, are there times where Divine intervention might not be implemented to encourage a different choice? Is there a such thing as fate? If so, how can you possibly actually have the free-will we seem to cling to so much?

Like many, I believe in free-will completely. I think that every choice I make is my own. That said, I also believe in fate (you could also say Divine plans if you're so inclined). How I reconcile this is that fate provides us with opportunities, and at times in our life may become more active in putting things in our way, or helping us out when we need it. The fact of the matter is that fate will only take us so far, and what we do when we get where we're going is our own choice. I think that history is full of those fated for great things that we will never hear about because they chose to ignore what was presented before them and denied who they could be. Such is the price of choice.

In "Falling for Eve" God realized the moment that He gives Adam and Eve the power of choice, that He can no longer control what they do. Despite this, he intervenes time and time again, testing their choices and putting obstacles in their way or helping them along to try and get what he wants. Time and time again, they surprise him. In one amazingly poignant moment, God sings something to the effect that she (Eve) is too much like God. The ability to make pure choice was something that once given, not even God could control, and only interference in the natural world could He effect His children and their choices.

So given our ability to make these choices, it draws us back again to how this might change if we saw the result of our choices. If you saw your 39-year-old self as a belligerent drunk, would you avoid becoming that? What if, you saw that by the time you were 65, your life would be completely turned around, and that you would have overcome incredible obstacles but end up wealthy and successful? One might assume that you would try to avoid being a drunk and still end up with success, but really, if you go against the first, you couldn't really ensure the latter. What if your experiences as a drunk allowed your future success? It is nearly impossible to tell what cause has what effect, even with hindsight. Would you take the risk of losing it all?

Another interesting thought that develops as one watches "Billy Redden" is how much of his life is the result of this knowledge. It is clear that each "version" of Billy has experienced this same night every 13 years. Given the conversations they have, is it those moments that truly shape his life? Would your life be different if you could talk to your future selves?

Speaking of talking to your future selves, one other interesting thing to ponder is what would you ask? At one point young Billy asks about his parents' deaths. His older selves refuse to answer. The reason? "Waiting is hell." This simple statement says an awful lot. On one hand, if you knew your parents would die at X time, you could live life with them to make it as meaningful as possible, in a way that you might not otherwise. On the other hand could you imagine how you would feel as that date got closer and closer? In some ways we can relate both positively and negatively. How do you feel as you approach an upcoming vacation? With excitement and happiness, mostly. The very thought of what is coming up allows us as humans to create those emotions without the event having happened yet. If we can see something awful coming on the horizon, we equally have the ability to create the sadness and despair long before the event has actually transpired. How much quality could their be in your life and your relationship with those people if you were already seeing their loss in your mind?

The final thing that both these plays bring to mind powerfully is: What would you change if you could?

In "Falling for Eve," Eve is given the option to return permanently to the Garden, and live forever as though she had never stolen the apple. A reset if you will. Would you make it never happen if you could? In "Billy Redden" all the versions of himself are faced with what would they do differently to help themselves, their closest friend, or the one they love. What if you knew that changing your life living for 40 years of sadness and loneliness would allow to to save the one you love? Would you go through with it? What if you knew that saving the life of your friend would lead you to pain, misery and possibly death? Would you still chose to save her?

We often look back at our lives as we look towards our future. Sometimes we say that we would change this that or the other. Knowing where we are in our lives now, sometimes we have to wonder if the bad decisions we made in our past are what led to a great future. Living with regret for the past can belittle the value of human error. We are incredibly powerful creatures, who often take the worst moments and make something incredible out of them. The greatest mistakes we have made my give us the knowledge that makes our lives truly amazing, or even open our eyes to a world we never would have seen without that mistake. I think that a life full of mistakes is a life that is fully lived. To remove our mistakes, no matter how great it seems, would probably destroy our future. It would rob us of our greatest selves, and the person that we can be. Make the mistakes, except the consequences, and your life may just end up exactly how you want it. Just ask Eve.

"Glory Days"- A Review

The title "Glory Days" brings to mind something grand and sweeping; a tale of men who looked far back into their lives to see those times when they were at their peak. Instead, viewers were given a show about four 20-year-olds who are trying to cling to the time in High School when they were still friends.

The themes of the show are actually the strongest part. The thought that went into a plot that touched on friendship, change, acceptance, and the struggles we all face is certainly something that can touch us all. The show is somewhat silly, with great one-liners that leaves the audience laughing, but still overall misses it's mark. Such as it was, "Glory Days" would have been better to stick to their song lyrics, and name their show "Glory-type Days" and capture more of the ironic humor the writers seem to be strong in.

The lyrics and dialogue simply couldn't carry the plot far enough. Despite some good characters and strong acting- particularly by Andrew C. Call (Andy) and Jesse JP Johnson (Jack)- the show was distracted by the words trying too hard to be "normal." I admit that it is a hard thing to script actors "being average and just hanging out" but with a show dedicated almost exclusively to this idea, it falls far short, failing again to capitalize on the potential it has.

Each of the four characters was meant to represent someone we know, and of them all, Skip (played by Adam Halpin) did the best. I can think of three or four people in my life that fall perfectly into who he was. In fact, I thought that had he been the narrator instead of Will (Steven Booth) the show would have been a lot stronger. Call successfully made us believe his character's emotions, and left us again wishing that the script would have given us more of him and who he was.

The songs, again, had potential. Some of the lyrics were witty, and the song "Open Road" captured everything the writers wanted it to, but overall they just failed to reach the goal, making the audience feel like it needed more to be complete. Some of the melodies were strained, and it was often hard to tell whether the actors were falling short, or it was a symptom of musical direction, especially since overall the direction was weak.

The staging is hardly worth commenting about as it was negligible save for the fact that the floor (representing a football field) was painted white so anytime the green lighting lost you were taken out of the scene and staring at a white floor.

In the end, I was felt like I had watched one of my friend's artists sketches. I could tell that a lot of incredible elements were there, and couldn't wait to see the final product. Unfortunately for this show, this isn't a rough sketch, and therefore its potential isn't going to be realized.

Façade

Many times, different things I will see or here will set my mind in random directions (as you probably already know if you are a long time reader). One of my new musical obsessions is Jekyll and Hyde. The music is amazing, kind of dark, as most European musicals are. Regardless, my goal was not to draw you into the show, but instead, much like I have done with Wicked, I wanted to share with you some of the thoughts that sprang forth from listening to one of the main song, "Facade."

Obviously the duplicity of man is a main theme in the Jekyll and Hyde story, but this song got me thinking a lot about our current state. Throughout the song, they point out that society's way is that of hiding who you are. Of course, if you consider Europe at that time, and for that matter throughout history, it is easy to see how the rich and powerful in particular had to show this incredible image, often to the point of it being impossible. Now days, people often talk about the manners, and politeness that was present. There were gentlemen, and ladies. Now, not so much. So what is it that has made this change?

I had originally began to form the idea that we simply hide less today. When I mentioned this to a friend, he said we actually try and hide more now. Hmm. I do know that hiding is harder now. We see this especially with stars, who are unable to hide the "darker" side of their personal lives no matter how hard they try. Also in this country we seem to have this rebellious attitude that says. "I will be who I want."

Yet, he had a point. Looking around today you can see a lot of sheep, and the term "black sheep" is probably more applicable today than when it was coined. Just the other day, a homophobic minister was lambasted for stepping outside the "accepted boundaries" of his peers and condoning "limited" rights for gays and lesbians. Was this his mask coming off only to have him shunned by his society? Maybe we really aren't more true to ourselves.

Another thing that I think about when dealing with this facade that I am going to put more thought into for another date is what and why exactly do we hide? Are we two people that fail to come to grips with that as Jekyll presents? Or are we people who just hide what we don't want others to see? Oh well, thoughts for another day!

There's a face that we wear
In the cold light of day -
It's society's mask,
It's society's way,
And the truth is
That it's all a façade!

There's a face that we hide
Till the nighttime appears,
And what's hiding inside,
Behind all of our fears,
Is our true self,
Locked inside the façade!

Every day
People, in their own sweet way,
Like to add a coat of paint,
And be what they ain't!

That's how our little -
Game is played,
Livin' like a masquerade
Actin' a bizarre charade -
While playing the saint!

But there's one thing I know,
And I know it for sure:
This disease that we've got
Has got no ready cure!
And I'm certain
Life is terribly hard -
When your life's a façade!

Look around you!
I have found
You cannot tell, by lookin' at the surface, 
What is lurkin' there beneath it!
See that face!
Now, I'm prepared to bet you,
What you see's not what you get -
'Cause man's a master of deceit !

So, what is the sinister secret?
The lie he will tell you is true? -
It's that each man you meet
In the street
Isn't one man but two!

Nearly everyone you see -
Like him an' her,
An' you, an' me -
Pretends to be
A pillar of society -
A model for propriety -
Sobriety 
An' piety -
Who shudders at the thought
Of notoriety!

The ladies an' gents 'ere before you -
Which none of 'em ever admits -
May 'ave saintly looks -
But they're sinners an' crooks!

Hypocrites!
Hypocrites!

There are preachers who kill!
There are killers who preach!
There are teachers who lie!
There are liars who teach!
Take yer pick, dear -
"Cause it's all a façade!

If we're not one, but two,
Are we evil or good?
Do we walk the fine line -
That we'd cross if we could?
Are we waiting -
To break through the façade?

One or two
Might look kinda well-to-do -
Hah! They're bad as me an' you,
Right down they're boots!

I'm inclined to think -
Half mankind
Thinks the other half is blind!
Wouldn't be surprise to find -
They're all in cahoots!

At the end of the day,
They don't mean what they say,
They don't say what they mean,
They don't ever come clean -
And the answer -
Is it's all a façade!
Is it's all a façade!
Man is not one, but two,
He is evil and good,
An' he walks the fine line
We'd all cross if we could!

It's a nightmare -
We can never discard -
So we stay on our guard -
Though we love the façade -
What's behind the façade?
Look behind the façade!

Couldn't be Happier

I just came back from St. Louis where I saw Wicked. It was as amazing as the reviews have said, if not more so, and I was very pleased with the casting. Ben and Jesse went with me... and so did Mark. It was a great time, and Mark made me feel really good. I don't know what that will mean for the future, but it was really nice being there with him.

One of the themes in the musical that I really like is apparent in the song "Thank Goodness." Glinda is singing about how happy she thinks she is on her engagement day. 

"That's why I couldn't be happier
No, I couldn't be happier
Though it is, I admit
The tiniest bit
Unlike I anticipated
But I couldn't be happier
Simply couldn't be happier
Well - not "simply":
'Cause getting your dreams
It's strange, but it seems
A little - well - complicated
There's a kind of a sort of : cost
There's a couple of things get: lost
There are bridges you cross
You didn't know you crossed
Until you've crossed
And if that joy, that thrill
Doesn't thrill you like you think it will
Still - 
With this perfect finale
The cheers and ballyhoo
Who 
Wouldn't be happier?
So I couldn't be happier
Because happy is what happens
When all your dreams come true
Well, isn't it?
Happy is what happens
When your dreams come true!"

It is so easy for us sometimes to convince ourselves of the road that we are on, the bridges that we cross, in order to reach some mythical dream. We seem willing to put up with almost anything to get there. This is why people are so willing to work at jobs that they hate. Don't get me wrong, dreams are good, but I don't think that they are what we can live for.

I think that dreams should guide us, but we have to be happy with the road we are on. It isn't worth sacrificing our happiness, or the people in our lives for something in the future, because as this song so eloquently illustrates, we can find that our final destination (assuming we reach it) is a far cry from what actually makes us happy.

Bottom line: Enjoy every moment of your life that is possible.

No day but today

I am not able to sleep, because my emotions are still in overdrive. Tonight, Randy had his International Thanksgiving Dinner, which was fun, but I will speak more to later. After the dinner, most of us went to see the movie Rent. I loved the musical, and was excited to see it made into a movie, but was completely unprepared for the impact it would have.

To me, the best movies are the ones that can make you laugh and cry, and I was laughing so hard that my side hurt, and later was continually crying my eyes out. Rarely can I say that there was hardly a dry eye in the theatre, but it was certainly true in this case. The majority of people were sniffling throughout a great portion of it, and many came out of the movie with eyes reddened from their tears. It was that powerful.

One of the things that I realize was that the movie had me crying as much in happiness as it did in sadness. Scenes in the movie uplifted my spirits as much as other depressed me. The simple message of the movie of living life to its utmost is something that I believe wholeheartedly in, and yet I cannot think of any other film that has portrayed it so well.

One other interesting point of note is how much it made me want that person whom I will spend the rest of my life with. Though I do not know when I will find them (or if I already have) it reminded me of my intense desire to share my life with someone. Strangely, many points in the movie conjured images of someone I know who is very dear to me. I am not sure exactly what that means, but I do know that there are circumstances in my life that I have been delicate with for far too long. Brock pointed out to me that that is not who I am. I am aggressive and determined, and holding back can't truly lead to anything that will make me ultimately happy. He reminded me of Chris, who I held back not an ounce with. Though we aren't together, we were very happy and to this day, he and I are close friends. I guess it is rather hypocritical of me to believe that I should be myself, and then knowingly go against that very nature.

Moral of the story: We only rent the life that we have. We might as well make the most of what is there, and get off the bench and see what happens. Bad things can happen, but indecision only leaves you cold and empty. "No day but today."

"There's Only Now
There's Only Here
Give In To Love
Or Live In Fear
No Other Path
No Other Way
No Day But Today"