Twitterpated forever?

A friend of mine posts a daily "question of the day" spurring his friends to think about random things that aren't political for at least a small moment. It's a great tradition, but today's really got me riled up. It was a simple one: Do you believe in love at first sight?

It should not have surprised me to see the responses. Most people who said "yes" were wide-eyed optimist types who dream of hopeless romance. Everyone else fell somewhere in the "no" or "lust at first sight" category. Some went so far as to explain their reasoning, many with very accurate facts, like "relationships being work" and "true love means knowing the worst of someone and loving them anyway." I can't really disagree with any of those things, but where I do find fault is that one negates the other.

Love at first sight is very real. Nearly every single person on this planet can point to times when they have met someone who stirs their soul for no quantifiable reason. It is easy to assume that this feeling is just when someone inspires in us lust, but if you look, there is a distinct difference between randomly finding someone attractive to the eyes, and someone who seems to tug on your heart and soul.

I have learned to recognize this to mean that this person will be important to my life. Some have become my best friends. Some have led to relationships. Most haven't stood the test of time, and many turned out to be painful, but in each instance there was an undeniable love present.

Where the romantic poets have gotten us lost is in assuming that "love at first sight" means "I recognize my soulmate at first sight." This is where the paths diverge. It is true that only through time and effort that we are able to strengthen a relationship to the point where it can become "permanent." When we experience the feeling of love at first sight, (a feeling that as a child of the 80's one might say makes us feel twitterpated) we quickly lose it, but not for the reasons that seem obvious. We lose it because we often add expectation on top of it. By assuming that it has to be forever, and when it's not (as most things aren't) we lose our optimism and assume that there's no such thing, closing ourselves off more and more as time goes on.

In that first moment, what we recognize is potential. When you allow yourself to become aware of what you're seeing and feeling you an embrace the fact that someone can be meaningful and can be someone you love without putting on the mandate that they will be your one and only forever. Don't assume that your heart is "wrong" because the last time you felt that magic turned out to be less than you had expected. All you do is make it that much harder for that person to be who they were meant to be in your life.

Cherish those moments and those people. Enjoy the fact that you've found someone who will be important to your life and celebrate in whatever that becomes. You may or may not walk down the aisle with them, but rest assured your life needs them in it, and they need you in theirs.