The test and therapists

As always, my friend Lana fills my days with interesting blogs, and today was no exception. She recently took one of the millions of personality tests out there, and so I thought I would do the same.

This particular one was a 78 question Briggs-Myers test, (Humantrics) and I was curious to see if my "life-reset" had changed my score much.
______________________________
Your Type is
ENFP
Extraverted: 78 Intuitive: 62 Feeling: 31 Perceiving: 44

Qualitative analysis of your type formula

You are:

* very expressed extravert
* distinctively expressed intuitive personality
* moderately expressed feeling personality
* moderately expressed perceiving personality
______________________________

I can’t seem to find my old score, but it seems if anything I have moved up in percentages with my attributes, which is interesting.

Another thing that Lana mentioned was the value of therapy. She spoke definitely in support of it, but wondered how it was that a person could still be seeing the same therapist for several years. Can the therapist be that effective if several years haven’t resolved their issues?

The funny thing about this timing is that I have nearly finished a book on gay relationships by a gay therapist who definitely has written his book as a psychologist, and so I have been thinking a lot about this lately.

Lana and I have one thing in common, which is we struggle to find personal value in a therapist, mostly because we often feel like what they are telling us is common sense. It is frustrating, because we often want to berate ourselves for feeling smarter than the people we are going to see. It isn’t "good" to think such things, so we can leave more mad at us than at them, which is really counter-productive.

Since psychology became a passion starting at Harvard, I have often been exasperated by therapists. I was given several recommendations by friends after my dad passed away, and always left feeling like I had wasted my time.

Lana pointed out something my first psychology professor told me, that often times, what people need more than anything is a sounding board. Someone who will listen intently no matter what, because often friends who we would like to fill that void simply can’t.

Over the last few years I have come to the conclusion that most therapists do 2 things wrong: They forget this first rule, and they try and systemize.

Many therapists will forget that mostly they need us to listen to what we feel is the problem, and what we don’t need is for them to try and follow a predetermined map. Jokes and exhagerations have been made for a long time about psychologists instantly relating your problems back to childhood, etc.

Very few therapists are able to model their methods to their patients, and as such, it is hard to find one that is a fit. One that is incredible to a friend of mine, might be terrible to me and that wading through the "bad ones" is what keeps people like Lana and I from finding someone actually a good fit for us.

I have come to the conclusion that therapy is a great thing. I think that the long-term relationships you develop with your therapists can really get you over hurdles and help you with your personal development. We are always growing, and having someone there foster that growth can be a great thing. The trick is finding someone who has the right style for you, and who doesn’t allow the relationship to become one of dependence.

Of course, thus far, I have yet to find this match, so I look to my good friends to be that slap in the face when I am blind to my own self. :-)