Connections

During and since the holidays I have been thinking a lot about family and the connections between people. Family often creates strong bonds, some of which many people say are virtually unbreakable. For a long time, the connection was were synonymous with blood.  Family names were incredibly important, and even kingdoms were handed down from father to son. As time has passed families have become more complex, many families are not made up of only blood relatives. So what effect does this alteration of families have on their connections?

The underlying question I have is what is it that bonds people together? Family is the reason I began thinking about it, but it extends a lot further than that. When I studied Psychology in Boston, even my professor said that there is a lot if speculation as to what it is that brings people together and perhaps more importantly what keeps them together. He asked which is true: "opposites attract" or "birds of a feather flock together." Interesting question. Is it our similarities that bind us, or our differences? Perhaps something else altogether?

Is blood one of those things? Of course it can make sense. But then again, there certainly are convincing stories about step and adoptive children meaning as much or even more to them as their blood relatives. Then again, when "family" is technically legal contracts, what is there about that that can make connections? Which brings me to one of my points: should relatives have an innate bond? If one of your family members is someone that you would normally not have a relationship with, should you create one because they are related to you? Lets sat that you think you should. Then lets say that you have this relationship. Does it mean that this relationship should be stronger than one you create when there is "nothing" innately there to begin with? Should my brother mean more than my best friend? Sometimes I don't know what I think about the people in my life, and I wonder if I shouldn't have some innate connection with people that I don't while on the other hand have strong connections with people that maybe I shouldn't. How many people have "loved the wrong person?" I don't think that there is any clear answer but I find it interesting and challenging to try to think and reason about affairs of the heart which may have no logical explanation whatsoever.