Family Fun

With the holiday season in full swing, and Thanksgiving having just past, one can't help but think about family. My Thanksgiving, as per usual was broken up a bit. Some time with some people here, some people there, etc. My two big events were my mom's dinner, and the annual International Thanksgiving.

My mom's was nice. Very casual, with my brother and sister (the ones I grew up with) being nice to each other, me, and my mom. It was an interesting occasion. One of my nephews was also there, and since I don't see him all that much, it was nice. The thing that got to me is that the conversation had no depth. I tried asking some questions, but the answers were simple, with no color. The only exception to this was a conversation my mom and I had as I left, which was really good. I wish I hadn't been on my way out, because it was exciting and I would have liked to delve further. As I was sitting there I thought a lot to myself about what it would take to make it so that we could have a good meaningful conversation, which in turn might lead us all to have a more meaningful relationship. At this point I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if being family is enough some times.

On the flip side, International Thanksgiving was great! This year it was a lot smaller, and while I would have liked a few more people, it certainly was nice to get to have great conversation with those there. Kellie, Jack, Jason, Jake, and L.J. also came, so it was part family, part friends. Though, I think the phrase that "friends are the family that you can choose" certainly applied to the dinner. A few old friends, some new good ones, and Cody all made the night complete.

Another thing that I have been thinking about with regards to family sprung from my trip to New Orleans. Meeting Cody's aunt and cousins made a real impact on me. I love kids, and I had a GREAT time with them. It got me to thinking though, that although I do get to see my nephews, I really don't have a relationship with my kid cousins (the ones almost young enough to be like nieces and nephews) and I would really like to. Seeing how attached they are to Cody- and he to them- despite the distance really was great. I am not sure what it is going to take to be an important part of the lives of the kids in my family, but I would certainly like to. Unlike all the adults with their agendas, prejudices, and dark histories, the kids are a clean slate, and they are ones who can see the value of family without letting all the other stuff get in the way. Perhaps the rest of this holiday season will provide me with more ways to make headway with my family near and far, blood and chosen.

Patience, the Villanous Virtue

I freely admit in my life that I have very little patience. I often say, "If it is a virtue, I don't have it." So many times in our lives we are told that patience is something that is good and important. In fact, above perhaps all else, it is that "virtue" that people treasure most with age. Those who lack patience are immature, while those who advance in years tout patience perhaps even more than wisdom. Books, movies, quotes, parents, teachers... all indicate that this is so.

In many ways, this makes sense. Sometimes we need time to think about something before we act on it. When there is something that we desire, we occasionally have to work for it for a long time before it actually can be ours. Many instances on the surface do indeed indicate a good measure of patience is a positive thing in life.

But is there a price? I would venture to say that no other virtue carries the precarious nature of patience. Someone who is willing to be patient and wait for something is commendable, whereas one who waits too long is foolhardy. It would seem to me that a virtue cannot have too much excess, and yet unlike the others, patience seems to be so. In contrast to all else that is truly virtuous, there is a very fine like that we must walk with patience.

Of course such a fine line isn't enough to make a virtue even remotely villainous, but that was just to warm us up. The reason that patience is indeed the singular "villainous virtue" is because I think that more than anything else we hold to be good, patience ruins people's lives. Before I commence, I will admit that it could be our veneration of patience, not the virtue itself, that causes such havoc. Regardless of this fact, when viewed as a virtue, disaster can easily follow.

The reason? Simple. The fact that we hold patience in such high regard, we quite simply put up with things too long. This mindset that if we wait things out that they will improve is plain false. Occasionally, things improve. With equal chance, they get worse. Nothing about us putting up with them makes the difference. Wives put up with their worthless husbands in hopes they will change. People stay in dead-end or miserable jobs hoping something better will come along. Families put off going on the vacation of their dreams until things are "situated." There is this idea that if we are patient, everything will become clear, and the path will make its way for us.

It is for this reason above all others that people don't take action in their lives. This in turn churns our society to a near screeching halt and makes the average man miserable, and we all know that misery loves company. Fooling ourselves into this belief that time heals all and that we don't have to be acting agents in our life is foolhardy at the very least.

I mentioned that there is a time and a place for patience, but like anything that is a double-edged sword, it must be viewed as such. We should learn to use it when necessary, and discard it the rest of the time. Until we do that, this villain will continue to wreak havoc of our own making.

Southern Expedition

Though I have spent time in the "South" before, my most recent excursion was almost completely new, so I thought I would bring some of my thoughts about such geographic locations.

In general the areas in the South seem to be incredibly run-down. Though I know that there are problems with weather and money in some locations, it seems that there is a significant lack of effort that is put forth. Often times a simple coat of paint or a few hours of work would make a dramatic impact to a home or business, and yet this seems to be beyond the scope of the whole area. Mississippi is by far the worst. The only noticeable exception was Jackson, which was actually a neat small city that seemed to have some heart, though I didn't spend a great deal of time there. It is really a shame, because the land in Mississippi was really quite beautiful, and if not marred by unattractive buildings and towns, it could be really nice.

Louisiana was a little better, but again, the same lack of effort was present. The suburbs still had hurricane trash- not debris that was tough to move, but small trash- all over the place. I did like the houses in Mandeville (a New Orleans suburb) a lot though, and the view of Lake Pontchartrain was excellent. I was also impressed with the 28 mile long bridge that crosses the lake to get into New Orleans proper.

The city itself was almost exactly as I expected: a great culture with a great feel, and a lot of grime. The city was so dirty. Such a shame. The city was kind of like a mesh of San Diego and Las Vegas. It was really spread out, but had some great areas. While I wasn't surprised by Bourbon Street (it was exactly as fun/crazy/dirty as I expected) I didn't realize how close it was to the upscale urban center. It is literally around the corner. That was surprising.

I really hope that more people with a heart go in and clean that place up. Though I understand that they dealt with a terrible tragedy that takes time to recover from, there is a lot that could be done easily with a little heart. City Park, which used to be a huge attraction that was simply beautiful, is now run down. They have let the grounds get overgrown and simply haven't put the time into making it a place people want to visit. I hope that changes.

Lastly, Pensacola and the Emerald Coast. BEAUTIFUL. Pretty much, that is all that needs to be said. Pensacola Beach is in undergoing a lot of building, and I am excited to see how it plays out. I was of course very interested in the small business aspects, but I won't bore you with all the details.

In truth, I enjoyed everywhere that I went, but I was extremely disappointed in the effort put forth. I suppose that to each their own and all that, but it makes me appreciate the cities that make attempts to make the best of their situation regardless of money. Maybe what I see as flaws others see as value, but I still think that most of the time people would be happer and have more pride in what they do and where they live if they put a bit more effort into the places they lived and worked.