I was in Jefferson City for work yesterday, and since I was staying with Ben and it was Thursday night (the night to go out in Columbia) I decided I would hit the club. I had a great time, and it was nice to see a lot of people that I hadn't seen in a while. I also met several new people, which is where the theme for this entry comes up. After meeting someone, there is normally an exchange of personal information so that you can keep in contact. Phone numbers, and even e-mails are common asks that I have received. Last night however, I had a number of the people I met as not for either of these traditional methods, but instead, if I used MySpace. Now since one of the copies of this journal is on MySpace, of course the answer is yes, but that question really made me step back and look at what MySpace and sites like it have done to communication.
Personally I think that the "connection sites" (i.e. MySpace, Connexion, Facebook, etc.) have made some major changes to the way we talk to each other and how easy it is for people to connect. Through the use of bulletins, you are able to send information to all of your friends at once, without actually having to make sure you tell everyone. Sites with blogs take this to the next level, sharing more in depth stories and thoughts with any of your friends that want to listen. I find myself fascinated by friends I had in high school, and how different, and amazing they are today. I can think of two friends in particular, who through MySpace have made a huge change in the way I view them. Not that I didn't like them before, I just realized that time and distance have made it so we really didn't know each other any more, and these sites have changed that. I really like that.
When I thought about the people that I met last night, in many ways asking for MySpace or a similar site is brilliant, because it lets you learn even more about them right off the back. I mean on my site for example, you can learn what I think my personality is, who my friends are, my book, movie, and music tastes, and if you are daring enough to read my blog, you can really learn much of my philosophies about life. A good source of information indeed.
Of course the sites also allow people to meet one another through better channels. My favorite site for this is Connexion.org . Through that site, when you click on someone, you can see how (if at all) you are linked to that person in a 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon sort of way. If I am looking at someone who is in a group I belong to (normally these groups are interest or profession based) and then on top of the initial commonality we share I realize that they are friends with some of my friends, that connection becomes stronger, and you are no longer looking at a complete stranger, but someone whom you might actually be able to create a good friendship with. That is impressive to me.
I may actually hit on this more at some point, but I was just drawn into how communication is ever evolving, and how if used right it can make a great many positive impacts in our lives. To show both some of my thoughts on that, and how things are changing in a short time, I am going to follow this entry up with an essay I wrote for one of my classes. Two years ago I took a Harvard class called "Internet, Technology, and the Policies of Control." I really enjoyed it. We talked about the changes in the world, and what that meant for privacy, business, and humans in general. One of the topics I focused in on was communication, and thus I wrote this essay: **Note, it is a 7 page essay
This artificial world is a lot more polite than the real world.
I heard these words the other day as I played an online game called Final Fantasy XI. For some reason, it stuck with me, and I realized that our methods of communication have changed a great deal in recent year, and our interpersonal relationships have been greatly affected as well. People are meeting and conversing in ways never before thought possible, and it has drastically changed our interactions with other people.
Many people who precede my generation would say that the level of communication that we have now is inferior to that of the past. Instant messages and 2 minute cell phone conversations cannot compare, some would say, with the depth of a written letter for example. It has been discussed that as our technology has advanced, our interpersonal skills and interpersonal relationships have suffered greatly.
I have never prescribed to this belief, and yet as a man of curiosity, I was forced to examine what has actually happened to communication with the advent of the internet. Have we truly lessened ourselves as people with the increase of convenience? Have we become a people who lack substance and depth? Have we lost the ability to truly communicate on a deep and meaningful level? I would contend that this is not the case and instead, our communication has simply changed, and like all shifts in society requires some getting used to and a certain amount of adjustment.
There have been three major areas in which the internet has altered our communication: through automation, time, and connectability. While these are all linked, they each impact some or all of our lives in different ways. I believe that by adapting to these new changes, we as a society can continue to grow, even in the realm of communication.
First and foremost is the automation that has permeated society. Many tasks which historically have required another person are now able to be done online, by ourselves. No longer do we have to visit the bank or even call and speak to a teller in order to gain information and make transactions with our accounts. Technical support for many of our appliances and computer software can now be found online. Even household tasks like shopping can now be done at home, in front of a computer. Like so many other advances in technology, this automation has come as a result of our yearning for convenience, yet it retrospect, it seems we may have lost something greater as a result.
While most would not consider it a vital part of our lives, the relationships that we form in small doses can have a big impact on our day. Most people would admit that getting a smile from your gas attendant or local cashier use your name when talking to you brightens your day a little bit. Its natural; humans are social animals. So what do we do with this void now that we no longer have to go inside to pay for our gas thanks to internet based credit card processing? And what have we lost by not coming face to face with the people who handle our business?
What about time? Many who feel that our communication has suffered over time point to the amount of time that we spend talking to another person as one of our greatest problems. No longer must a long letter be written, or even a long, meaningful phone conversation be had. Instead, we have instant messaging, 3 sentence e-mails, and of course the newest, text messaging on our cell phones. To test this idea, I looked over the e-mails I received in a week. Excluding forwards, a good 85% of them were indeed less than 3 lines long, more a note than anything else. Random selections of friends and relatives proved much the same. Text messages by their very nature are short and to the point, else they have no use, and instant messaging hardly seems comparable to any other form of communication. There is limited interaction. You cannot hear their voice, see their face, etc. The time and attention that we seem to give one another in our conversations seems to have greatly diminished.
The internet has also increased the number of things that people can do together from greater distances, without ever leaving their homes. Many have praised this as a great accomplishment of the internet, while others point to the negative sides: people spending more time secluded in their homes, in front of a computer as opposed to spending their time with face-to-face interaction with other people. Younger members of our society have probably seen the biggest impacts of this technology through video games. Inviting a bunch of people over to play Nintendo is no longer a necessity when each of you can fire up your computer or game consul, plug into the internet and connect with your friends right from your own home.
All age groups have been able to see this to a certain degree beyond those that I already mentioned through chat rooms. People of similar interests can access a place in cyberspace and discuss whatever they like. No need to go into town as part of an organization to converse with people who share your interests, just pop online with instant access, any time night or day- of course without the personal contact that most psychologists claim that we need.
So, is it worth it? Are all the advances we have made adding to our society, or taking away from vital social interactions? The answer is two-fold. Society is benefiting from our technological advancements, but without a certain amount of adjustment we as a society could suffer. More than ever, technology is racing ahead, and many are being left behind. Advancements are being made faster than our culture can adapt, and therein lies the risk.
So what can we do to maximize the benefits and negate the disadvantages of our technology? Automation needs the smallest amount of adjustment. In fact, from my perspective, if used right, it takes all the negativity out of a lot of tasks, and lets people enjoy some of the things we are required to do in our lives. Ordering a rare toy online negates the Christmas negativity where moms and dads stand in line screaming at one another over who gets to take the last Tickle Me Elmo out of the store. In fact, there has been a decrease in angry shoppers in general over the last few years. At least part of this is based upon the fact that internet ordering has become more popular. When I go to the mall now, its more like when I was a teenager, a social event where you idly walk through stores, seeing people that you know from around town, and generally having a good time. Beyond that, the fact that you are actually going out for something adds an additional element, and often time, to it.
The time issue takes a little more work on our part. But first I think that we must look at the overall benefits that the new technology provides. While many of my friends may only drop a 2 line e-mail simply to say hello, it still shows that they care. The text message that took a minute to type shows importance, and even if it is only for a moment, it reconnects people quickly and easily. Instant messaging also improves the ability to maintain relationships over time and distance. When I moved back to Missouri after my time at Harvard, I was able to maintain constant contact with many of the people that I met there through instant messaging far better than I could have if I had to write them letters and wait for the response. The simple fact of how much time has passed between mailed letters makes it difficult to maintain the same level of intimacy that you can have if you check in with them every couple of days over IM to let them know whats been going on in my life. Remember also, that day-to-day friendships are maintained in person by the small tidbits of life that we share with one another. This new technology allows people to share these details of their life with one another almost instantly
Given all of these positives, there are still things that we can do better. One of my dearest friends, moved away a few months back and life has simply not been the same. He was the kind of guy that would spend hours with me at the local coffee shop discussing politics, philosophy, love, and life. When he moved away, it was incredibly difficult to maintain our intense relationship. With his strong liberal arts communications education, he commented on this just the other day, and I think he very clearly sums up the issues with e-mail, and some things we can do to improve them.
He said that it was important to maintain and improve communication in e-mails, especially with regards to discussion. He said to me, I quote your words to show that I read your e-mail carefully and want to respond to specific points. While this specific advice may or may not work for everyone, it certainly points out the major flaw in the way we communicate over e-mail. Far too often, we read over something rather quickly, and if we respond, it is often to the general idea of the letter, not to the specific points, and has less depth than the mail we received. Its important to remember that quick notes are great- they help us in many ways. That being said, the depth is still needed. We need to use what we have to expand our communication, not lessen it. We need to make sure that we dont allow the ease of communication to detract from the fact that we need to communicate. A long, thoughtful e-mail can be as deep and meaningful as a written correspondence ever was, so long as we put forth the effort to make it so. The conversations we share in IM can have great meaning if we use it as a tool to close distances rather than condense information.
When it comes to connectability, we have the greatest need for a shift in thinking, and yet by its very nature, the connection that the internet creates new means to bring people together, not push them away. In his book Gods Debris, Scott Adams presents what he calls a thought experiment. While the details of the book are unimportant to our discussion, he points out that throughout human history, we have been closing distances. Initially it showed mostly with transportation, but always was there regards to communication. For a long time the two went hand and hand. The easier it was to travel from place to place, the easier it was to communicate via letters, etc. Then, when phones came out, communication started to move ahead of transportation. With the advent of the internet, we have truly started to see a global community emerge. Adams book explains that humans have a need to close the gaps that separate us and become more united. I think that that is what we are on our way towards accomplishing.
In order for this to happen however, we need to make sure that we are using our technology. As Neil Postman points out in his book Technopoly, the problem with a lot of technology, computers in particular, is that we have stopped using technology, and we are letting it use us. Postman contends that with effort on our part, technology can be a tool to enhance the most human of our endeavors. Technology has created a vast new world of communication, one that we can utilize to make our lives better. In doing so, we need to make sure that we are still pursuing meaningful relationships, else we risk sacrificing ourselves to our own technology.
But beyond this somewhat idealistic advice, we also need to remember that a change in communication is not necessarily a bad thing. As I said earlier, the reason that I began thinking of this topic was because of a game I play which is solely online. This time of community is relatively new and taking some getting used to, especially for older generations. Just because we do not see each other in person does not mean that it is not a social situation. Games like Final Fantasy XI force people to interact with each other, compete against each other, and work with each other. These situations, though simulated through a computer, are more realistic than much of society gives them credit for. It creates situations that force people of all races, genders and ages to come together from across the globe. That kind of exposure is hard to come by, especially when you are younger.
To a certain degree, the same holds true for chat rooms and other internet meeting places. Through them you can communicate with and meet people from halfway across the globe. We can find those that share your interests, or better yet, learn about other people who have lives very different from our own. While this may not be the same as living day to day with the people that you meet, it gives us access to a wealth of diverse ideas and personalities that has been otherwise unavailable to us. The internet has created new environments for us that can be a great asset to us as a society, and while they may not be the only form of interpersonal relationships, they should certainly count.
When it comes down to it, the world is what you make it. As I stated in the very beginning, others I have talked to have made the observation that the worlds and connections created online can be just a lot nicer than the ones we see when we leave our house. Within the game, people smile and wave when they see someone they know. In an IM chat, people use emotioncons to smile at someone and make them feel better. We need to look at the internet as an opportunity when it comes to our interpersonal communications. We need to use the internet as the tool it was meant to be, expanding our horizons, deepening our relationships, and maybe even re-teaching some lessons that we as a society have seemed to lose.
