In these last hours of 2009, I, like so many people am thinking about the year I am leaving behind, and the new time I look forward to. This year, being the end of the first decade of this millennium, I am also looking back forward to this decade of my life. It is fairly fitting time to do this, as because of my birthday, it was also the first decade of my “adult life.”
This year, I celebrated my 10 year high school class reunion. To think that I have spent 10 years out of my childhood is fairly daunting. To think how much I have changed, how much I have grown in ways I never knew I could, is just shy of earth shattering. In the last decade I have come to grips with who I am, fallen in love, had my heart broken. I have made myself a success, lost a great deal of that success. I have traveled the country, returned home, and made myself a true home somewhere far from where I was born. I have made friends that will last a lifetime, and lost many that I thought would stand by me forever. I have been loved, and I have been betrayed by those close to me.
Looking back over it all, I will have to say that more than anything, I walk away from this decade with the knowledge that will last me the rest of my life, and hopefully make me the lasting success in love and in life that we all seem to seek. This last year I will have to say in many ways was the most trying of them all. I seemed to be in constant battle with the one thing that I hate in my life above all others: stagnation.
Given the state of everything in the world, in many ways I am lucky to be stuck in one place. Many people have lost more than I have and have less to look forward to. That said, staying in place, especially when I am not happy where I am is not who I am. Given this insight into the last year, my New Year’s Resolution is going to take a different turn from the traditional, and certainly from what I have done in my past.
This coming year, I resolve to spend my energy making my life the way that I want it regardless of what is going on around me. Much of this will take place at home. Talking to people who have far more experience in the world than I do has made me realize that the saying “home is what you make it” is more true than I ever realized. I am not a big fan of my apartment, and I am planning on moving, but what I realize is that there is much that I can do to make where I live a place that makes me happy. This will be my first step. Changing things in my place, spending the time and sometimes the money to make the small changes that will make my place “MY place” regardless of where that is.
I plan on taking this same philosophy professionally too. I cannot make more work appear, and like everyone else I am dealing with a struggling economy. That said, there are things that I can do whether or not they bring in the bank that will make me professionally happy. Writing and non-profit work come to the forefront of this idea. The more I realize that I have a lot to offer, regardless of the paycheck the happier I will be, regardless of the state of the economy.
The details of these plans are still coming, and the ones I have are definitely not anything I would bore the world with, but suffice to say, this year shall end a chapter of my life, but that the New Year is not going to be one where I have trivial and easy to ignore resolutions. This New Year is going to not endeavor to make changes to me. This year is going to be dedicated instead to simply utilizing myself and the lessons of the last decade to improve the quality of life that I enjoy. I think that this will spill over into other areas of my life, and even to those that I am close to.
So here’s to a new year, a new decade, and a new road to achieve happiness. May we all find what we’re looking for.
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