Long Time

It is sometimes amazing how when you perhaps need to put your thoughts to paper most are the very same times that you never seem to bring yourself to have time to do so.

Looking over the past month and a half it feels like a blur. Between campaigns coming to their final boil, and the economy making effectively working almost impossible, life has definitely been rocky. When one feels down on life, there are occasions where you can be surprised at what bothers you the most, and what you miss. My current situation, as well as that in the country at large has certainly led to a lot of philosophical thinking.

Since I started doing project work for MTV, I have really enjoyed the way that life was going. Even when I had occasions to work on a project that was less than exciting, I was still buoyed by the work I was doing and the direction I was building for myself in my life. Unfortunately, working for one of the big companies in this city, means that there are times that the market is felt all too keenly, and so it was that MTV cut back their project outsourcing budgets significantly, and my work-life came to a screeching halt. While I certainly miss both the peace of mind and the spending cash of my consistent job, I found myself unable to do some things that I have certainly taken for granted that surprised me a lot.

For the first time in 7 years, I missed the HRC National Dinner. That was a bigger blow than I expected. Missing something that I considered a staple in my life made me think of how we incorporate things into our lives, barely knowing how important they are to us. When you look objectively, it was a dinner, which had good entertainment, was for a good cause and would have been attended by great people. All of these are good, but frankly, there are other events happening all the time that do the same thing. The fact of the matter is, that on some level, this particular event had carved a place in my life and my heart, and I never even realized it.

Sitting here now, I think that the elections have raised too many issues to include with anything else, and tomorrow, when I am either rejoicing or crying is probably a better time to entertain them.

Another thing that being between projects has brought into sharp focus is the different ways of seeing “doing what is necessary.” I have been having this discussion with many of my friends, and most of us see things differently from one another. Which is the better path? Should one choose to do whatever job you can get to make sure that you are making the money you need to make in the moment? Or, is it better to live with less than you want in order to build towards something else? Is there a point at which you must leave one path to pursue the other? Can they somehow both be followed at the same time?

When trying to build something for yourself and your future, which is the greater sacrifice? Which is the better path? This is something I am sure I will ponder more as time goes on, and the tough choices continue to be put before me.