Beautiful Disasters

In one aspect, there are three types of people. When it comes to what people seek to experience, the first are those that seek mediocrity. The second only see disaster. Finally, there are those that search for miracles. Now I am not talking about what people imagine. Lots of people see miracles everywhere, or see only gloom and doom. Psychology has neatly classified these people already, so I won't waste my time reiterating. I am talking about what people search for in their lives, whether they realize it or not.

While I could spend more time talking about either the people who I consider to lead boring lives or the drama queens, I will instead focus upon the last group, the miracle seekers. These are the people who want the big things in their life, and won't stop till they find it. They want sweeping romance, high adventure, and astounding events to be the cornerstones of their existence. Because of this, they also have to take the biggest risks, and will see some of the greatest disatsers. Some of these will be disquised, to be revealed as beautiful disasters.

A beautiful disaster is something that looks amazing it can take your breath away, no matter what hides behind it. If you seek miracles, you will chase this incredible thing, even if it blows up in your face. There is this period in time where you have to wonder if you put the effort into something it will turn out to be beautiful, or just another disaster. Kelly Clarkson made a song that sums this up quite neatly, aptly titled, "Beautiful Disaster."

The very first time that I heard this song, it struck a chord with me because there were a lot of situations in my life that felt like what she was talking about. Of course at the time I had no idea that they would turn out to be so... well... disasterous, but in retrospect, it was always pretty clear. Sometimes I think that I want something to be so good, that I am willing to take it to the very edge, and sometimes even over it and have it blow up in my face before I will give up on it.

At some point, I started looking for disaster in anything that could be seen as a miracle, and wanted to stop looking for them altogether. I think that I almost made the mistake of avoiding the search completely. After so many times seeking the explosion behind the warmth, there is a chance that we could miss the very things that we have searched for. Listening to the song again, I am reminded that the part that should not be missed is the constant question that asks if something could be beautiful.

Seeking great things can be hard sometimes. The things that provide the greatest reward can sometimes have the greatest pain attached to them, and many times, the pain isn't even worth the imediate reward. What we must always remember is that whether we are hunting or not, miracles can come upon us, and we must not be so injured by our beutiful disasters, that we lose that very thing we want most.

"Beautiful Disaster"
Kelly Clarkson

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He's as dumb as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain't right
It just ain't right

Oh when I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

His magical myth
As strong as with I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight

Oh cuz I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
So long

He's soft to the touch
But afraid at the end he breaks
He's never enough
And still leaves more than I can take
Oh cuz I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

He's beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster

Not mine, but good. Bush

Blunt opinion the day before the election. Speak your mind, and VOTE!!! This comes from Bill Maher, and saved me from having to write anything else.

The Democrats' best slogan: "Bush lost the war"

Nov. 5, 2006 | New Rule: Controlling Congress is for closers. Listen up, Democrats, it's as simple as ABC: Always Be Closing. First prize? Controlling congressional committees, with subpoena power. Second prize: set of steak knives. Third prize? You're fired.

The election is four days away, and I'm through dicking around with you. Here are your talking points:

1) When they say, "Democrats will raise taxes," you say, "We have to, because some asshole spent all the money in the world cutting Paris Hilton's taxes and not killing Osama bin Laden." In just six years the national debt has doubled. You can't keep spending money you don't take in, that's not even elementary economics, that's just called "Don't be Michael Jackson."

2) When they say, "The terrorists want the Democrats to win," you say, "Are you insane? George Bush has been a terrorist's wet dream, and nonpartisan commissions have confirmed that he's a recruiter's dream: theirs, not ours. And, he has exhausted our military without coming away with a win, the worst of both worlds." Bush inflames radical hatred against America and then runs on offering to protect us from it. It's like a guy throwing shit on you and then selling you relief from the flies.

3) When they say, "Cut and Run" or "Defeatocrat," you say, "Bush lost the war -- period." All this nonsense about "the violence is getting worse because they're trying to influence our election." No, it's getting worse because you drew up the postwar plans on the back of a cocktail napkin at Applebee's. And of course Democrats want to win, but that's impossible now that you've ethnically cleansed the place by making it unlivable, just like you did with New Orleans.

4) When they say that actual combat veterans like John Kerry are "denigrating" the troops, you say, "You're completely full of shit." Remember when Al Gore caught all that flak for sighing and moaning during that debate? Yeah, don't do that. Just say, "You're full of shit."

If I was a troop, the support I would want back home would mainly come in the form of people pressuring Washington to get me out of this pointless nightmare. That's how I would feel supported.

So when they say, "Democrats are obstructionists," you say, "You're welcome." Because with a bad administration that has bad ideas, obstruction is a good thing, just as it's a good thing to obstruct a drunk from getting his car keys. I would be happy to frame the debate as a fight between the Obstructionists and the Enablers. There's your talking point: "Vote Republican, and you vote to enable George Bush to keep ruling as an emperor." A retarded, child emperor, but an emperor.

Democrats, you've got two days to get out there and close. It's not about slogans this time. Although when it comes to slogans, accept no other from your opponent except this one: "The Republican Party: We're Sorry."

Happily Speaking

So I normally don't do this, but I had a good day that I want to talk about, because of the impact it may have on my life and how excited I am about it. I know that it has been a while since I have written something thoughtful, but I will get back to that soon. For now, an indulgence on my personal life.

This last Thursday was a good day for me. Though I do have to admit that pretty much every day for the last three weeks has been enjoyable thanks to a certain someone, Thursday was especially delightful. Why? I got to do something that I haven't been able to do in a long time, and moreover, I may have enabled myself to do more of it in the future.

What was this event, you ask? Public speaking. I got to give a presentation at UMKC, and followed that with being a guest lecturer for a social welfare class at another local college. I loved it! It jas been a long time since I have been able to get in front of people like that outside of Boys State, and I really enjoyed it.

I have thought about trying to get more speaking in. A while back, my cousin who is a high school guidance counselor asked me to do a career day/job fair. I had a good time then, and it reminded me how much I like teaching. I also know that I love public speaking. Of course at the point I am at in my life, I am not willing to become a full-time teacher, and subing really holds no interest for me, as I would only be filling someone else's shoes. Guest lecturing- now that seems perfect. I get a chance to utilize my speaking skills, while at the same time teach. I am also able to bring my unique life experiences to bear in a way that helps people, and provides me with a unique and changing challenge.

Strangely, the same day that I was giving these two lectures/presentations and thinking again about trying to tap into this field, I met someone who accidentally fell into guest lecturing with UMKC and since that time has made that his full time job. He was excited by what I wanted to do and really wanted to connect me with the people that could use me.