The New Year is just over an hour and a half away, and as I was getting ready to go out, I realized something about holidays. Many people seem to love every holiday, while just as many probably wished they never existed. How is it that the same days could have such opposite reactions. And why is it that though I love holidays, I have not felt very positive about them the last few years? My thought is that holidays amplify feelings within us. Often times, the power of these days will bring out things that for the majority of our lived are hidden. The grumpy old man can be warm and loving to his grandchildren, while the perfect mom can scream at people in the store aisles.
These extremes that we see in the holidays are the reason there are such mixed reactions. A hungry family feels all the more out of place during Thanksgiving feasts. The broken heart feels trampled on Valentine's Day. Families come together with warmth and love. Holidays force us to act, or feel as though we have to act in a certain way, and they accentuate aspects of our personalities and our lives. The problem is that sometimes they can do so to the damage of others. The mom I mentioned may be attempting to bring happiness to her family, and her frustration mounts because for whatever reason she feels that she is unable to. When love is in the air, those who are alone feel it all to keenly. When families gather together, those that are broken show so much more. When everyone else is celebrating, how does the man feel who has nothing to celebrate?
I think that on some level, we understand this basic truth about holidays. We know they in many ways amplify things, and sometimes we try and avoid these circumstances. The kid without parents may try and surround himself with his friends. The girl who lost her boyfriend may immerse herself in romantic comedies. Our defenses can be quite effective when they kick in, and I think that maybe knowing what effect that the holidays have on us could help make them more positive, but who knows. This is my first night for the "test." For your information, my amplification was disappointment and loneliness, but I am going out anyway with Brock and Randy and we will see how things go!
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Friday, December 23, 2005
Christians and Pagans
Yule has come and gone, and Christmas is right around the corner, and people are enjoying their holidays as befits their beliefs. Unfortunately this year, a lot of negativity has gone up about whether or not you should express your beliefs, so I thought I would take this moment to bring up a great song with smart lyrics. They pretty much speak for themselves:
Amber called her uncle, said "We're up here for the holiday,
Jane and I were having Solstice, now we need a place to stay."
And her Christ-loving uncle watched his wife hang Mary on a tree,
He watched his son hang candy canes all made with red dye number three.
He told his niece, "It's Christmas Eve, I know our life is not your style,"
She said, "Christmas is like Solstice, and we miss you and it's been awhile,"
So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
And just before the meal was served, hands were held and prayers were said,
Sending hope for peace on earth to all their gods and goddesses.
The food was great, the tree plugged in, the meal had gone without a hitch,
Till Timmy turned to Amber and said, "Is it true that you're a witch?"
His mom jumped up and said, "The pies are burning," and she hit the kitchen,
And it was Jane who spoke, she said, "It's true, your cousin's not a Christian,"
"But we love trees, we love the snow, the friends we have, the world we share,
And you find magic from your God, and we find magic everywhere,"
So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
And where does magic come from? I think magic's in the learning,
'Cause now when Christians sit with Pagans only pumpkin pies are burning.
When Amber tried to do the dishes, her aunt said, "Really, no, don't bother."
Amber's uncle saw how Amber looked like Tim and like her father.
He thought about his brother, how they hadn't spoken in a year,
He thought he'd call him up and say, "It's Christmas and your daughter's here."
He thought of fathers, sons and brothers, saw his own son tug his sleeve, saying,
"Can I be a Pagan?" Dad said, "We'll discuss it when they leave."
So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
Lighting trees in darkness, learning new ways from the old, and
Making sense of history and drawing warmth out of the cold.
Jane and I were having Solstice, now we need a place to stay."
And her Christ-loving uncle watched his wife hang Mary on a tree,
He watched his son hang candy canes all made with red dye number three.
He told his niece, "It's Christmas Eve, I know our life is not your style,"
She said, "Christmas is like Solstice, and we miss you and it's been awhile,"
So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
And just before the meal was served, hands were held and prayers were said,
Sending hope for peace on earth to all their gods and goddesses.
The food was great, the tree plugged in, the meal had gone without a hitch,
Till Timmy turned to Amber and said, "Is it true that you're a witch?"
His mom jumped up and said, "The pies are burning," and she hit the kitchen,
And it was Jane who spoke, she said, "It's true, your cousin's not a Christian,"
"But we love trees, we love the snow, the friends we have, the world we share,
And you find magic from your God, and we find magic everywhere,"
So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
And where does magic come from? I think magic's in the learning,
'Cause now when Christians sit with Pagans only pumpkin pies are burning.
When Amber tried to do the dishes, her aunt said, "Really, no, don't bother."
Amber's uncle saw how Amber looked like Tim and like her father.
He thought about his brother, how they hadn't spoken in a year,
He thought he'd call him up and say, "It's Christmas and your daughter's here."
He thought of fathers, sons and brothers, saw his own son tug his sleeve, saying,
"Can I be a Pagan?" Dad said, "We'll discuss it when they leave."
So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
Lighting trees in darkness, learning new ways from the old, and
Making sense of history and drawing warmth out of the cold.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
After Birthday Quiz
Well, my birthday was pretty good. Nothing too exciting. I spent the morning with Mark and then went to dinner with some Columbia friends. We are going to go out tomorrow in K.C. since I was out of town. But on to the quiz!
1. Spell your name backward: nevar regeis norabel leinad nerraw drahcir
2. Story behind your name: It was my grandfather's name, and a perfect fit for my personality.
3. When is your birthday: December 18th, 1980
4. Where do you live: Kansas City, MO... technically a suburb, but I try and forget that fact.
DESCRIBE YOUR:
5. Wallet: I use 2- a brown money clip which I carry all the time (it holds my money, IDs and credit cards) and a black bi-fold which holds all those cards I don't always needs. That one mostly stays in the car. Both are the leather that isn't really animals.
6. Eyes: "Soulful" Brown
7. Toothbrush : Blue and white... "and I would put them in the holder, but it hasn't changed its shape yet!" (Props to you if you recognize that).
8. Jewelry worn daily: Variety of watches, a dual band silver ring on my right ring finger, and a threaded silver ring on my left middle finger (sometimes the rings change), a bracelet that supports one cause or another, and a necklace that always matches what I am wearing.
9. Cell Phone: Blue flip phone.
10. Pillow cover right now: Cream and smooth.
11. Car: '05 Silver Honda Civic Hybrid with grey leather interior. I love it!
12. Bedroom : 3 out of four of the walls are an light tan on the top with a gold/blue/cream faux finish on the bottom separated by thin blue wood trim, and then one wall is dark blue faux looking wallpaper. Tan carpets.
13. Sunglasses: Uhm... dark...
15. Cologne/Perfume: Depends on what I am doing. My best is Abercrombie Fierce.
17. Piercings: None. Used to have one ear.
18. What you are wearing now: Tan sweater, tan washed blue jeans and brown suede shoes.
19. Wishing: That I could apparate.
20. Wanting: To make my employees rich.
21. After this: Lunch on the Plaza, then more work!
22. If you could get away with it and murder anyone who would it be: There is only one person I almost hate that much... but I would rather destroy him and let him live. Killing makes me a bad person, and no one is worth that. This does not of course include close minded politicians who should be taken to an island and left forever.
23. Person you wish you could see right now: The same one I always wish I could see right now.
24. Some of your favorite movies: Dead Poets Society, Moulin Rouge, Playing by Heart. Since its winter: Love Actually, and newest fav: Brokeback Mountain.
25. Something you're looking forward to in the coming week: Christmas and Yule!
26. Something you just ate: Lunch is coming soon! OJ was breakfast. But soon it will be CPK!
27. Something you are deathly afraid of: Falling. It is instinctive. Grrr...
28. Do you like candles: Of course.
29. Do you like incense: Some, but normally candles are better unless you have a good purpose in using incense.
30. Do you like the taste of blood: Random question... but when I suck my cut finger is suppose it wasn't a bad taste.
31. Do you believe in love: Hopeless romantic table of one.
32 Do you believe in love at first sight: Indeed. Too bad not everyone does.
34. Do you believe in Heaven: In one form or another.
35. Do you believe in God: As long as "he" isn't the biblical hypocrite, I think there is probably a higher being.
39. Can you eat with chopsticks: Its the only way I eat Chinese.
40. What's your favorite coin: Quarter. Just the right size for nearly everything, and not worthless like pennies.
41. What are some of your favorite candies: Chocolate! Skittles were a favorite growing up along with Spree, and of course being best friends with Brock means I have a thing for sour gummy things.
43. What's something you wish you could understand better: Some things are better left unsaid.
44. How many people have you kissed: At least one for every year of my life... maybe 2.
47. Are you shy around your crush: No. Shy and I no longer have an acquaintance.
49. Do you know what it feels like to be in love: So much so that I have cried.
50. Would you sacrifice your favorite possession for your best friends: Are they different?
FASHION STUFF:
52. Have any tattoos: Not at the moment. I may eventually get one.
53. What is your favorite thing to wear: Jeans and a sports coat with either an oxford or a t-shirt.
54. How much is the most you've ever spent on a single item of clothing: Uhm.... too much... Maybe my best sports coat which was close to $250
55. Who is the least fashionable person you know: Most of the people outside "the family." Although one of my renters probably takes the cake. Wow.
56. Do you match your belt with your hair color: Not so much. It's the shoes it matches.
57. What is the worst thing you've ever thought would look good: X-Large shirts on me.
58. How many pairs of shoes do you own: Hmmm... 14 I think.
59. What is the worst trend you see today:The "I use the bible to be anti-anything" trend. The red slide scares me.
RANDOM:
60. Do you do drugs : Not illegal ones.
61. What kind of shampoo do you use:Redken AllSoft or Kenneth Cole Reaction
62. What are you listening to right now:My launchcast station.
63. What are essentials in your life: Passion, the sun, friendship, challenge, myself.
64. Whats a break up song you are most likely to listen to while breaking up: When I break up, I normally listen to the good ones that talked about our relationship. If anything, I do listen toLover After Me by Savage Garden.
65. What are you doing for your birthday: Well I just had one, and that was fun. Next year though, I want to do something very different with a lot of the people I care about.
66. What do you want for Christmas: I got one of my biggest wants. My company officers bought be an X-Box 360. Woot! Beyond that, there is a person that would do rather nicely.
1. Spell your name backward: nevar regeis norabel leinad nerraw drahcir2. Story behind your name: It was my grandfather's name, and a perfect fit for my personality.
3. When is your birthday: December 18th, 1980
4. Where do you live: Kansas City, MO... technically a suburb, but I try and forget that fact.
DESCRIBE YOUR:
5. Wallet: I use 2- a brown money clip which I carry all the time (it holds my money, IDs and credit cards) and a black bi-fold which holds all those cards I don't always needs. That one mostly stays in the car. Both are the leather that isn't really animals.
6. Eyes: "Soulful" Brown
7. Toothbrush : Blue and white... "and I would put them in the holder, but it hasn't changed its shape yet!" (Props to you if you recognize that).
8. Jewelry worn daily: Variety of watches, a dual band silver ring on my right ring finger, and a threaded silver ring on my left middle finger (sometimes the rings change), a bracelet that supports one cause or another, and a necklace that always matches what I am wearing.
9. Cell Phone: Blue flip phone.10. Pillow cover right now: Cream and smooth.
11. Car: '05 Silver Honda Civic Hybrid with grey leather interior. I love it!12. Bedroom : 3 out of four of the walls are an light tan on the top with a gold/blue/cream faux finish on the bottom separated by thin blue wood trim, and then one wall is dark blue faux looking wallpaper. Tan carpets.
13. Sunglasses: Uhm... dark...
15. Cologne/Perfume: Depends on what I am doing. My best is Abercrombie Fierce.
17. Piercings: None. Used to have one ear.
18. What you are wearing now: Tan sweater, tan washed blue jeans and brown suede shoes.
19. Wishing: That I could apparate.
20. Wanting: To make my employees rich.
21. After this: Lunch on the Plaza, then more work!
22. If you could get away with it and murder anyone who would it be: There is only one person I almost hate that much... but I would rather destroy him and let him live. Killing makes me a bad person, and no one is worth that. This does not of course include close minded politicians who should be taken to an island and left forever.23. Person you wish you could see right now: The same one I always wish I could see right now.
24. Some of your favorite movies: Dead Poets Society, Moulin Rouge, Playing by Heart. Since its winter: Love Actually, and newest fav: Brokeback Mountain.
25. Something you're looking forward to in the coming week: Christmas and Yule!
26. Something you just ate: Lunch is coming soon! OJ was breakfast. But soon it will be CPK!
27. Something you are deathly afraid of: Falling. It is instinctive. Grrr...
28. Do you like candles: Of course.
29. Do you like incense: Some, but normally candles are better unless you have a good purpose in using incense.
30. Do you like the taste of blood: Random question... but when I suck my cut finger is suppose it wasn't a bad taste.
31. Do you believe in love: Hopeless romantic table of one.
32 Do you believe in love at first sight: Indeed. Too bad not everyone does.
34. Do you believe in Heaven: In one form or another.
35. Do you believe in God: As long as "he" isn't the biblical hypocrite, I think there is probably a higher being.
39. Can you eat with chopsticks: Its the only way I eat Chinese.
40. What's your favorite coin: Quarter. Just the right size for nearly everything, and not worthless like pennies.41. What are some of your favorite candies: Chocolate! Skittles were a favorite growing up along with Spree, and of course being best friends with Brock means I have a thing for sour gummy things.
43. What's something you wish you could understand better: Some things are better left unsaid.
44. How many people have you kissed: At least one for every year of my life... maybe 2.47. Are you shy around your crush: No. Shy and I no longer have an acquaintance.
49. Do you know what it feels like to be in love: So much so that I have cried.
50. Would you sacrifice your favorite possession for your best friends: Are they different?
FASHION STUFF:
52. Have any tattoos: Not at the moment. I may eventually get one.
53. What is your favorite thing to wear: Jeans and a sports coat with either an oxford or a t-shirt.
54. How much is the most you've ever spent on a single item of clothing: Uhm.... too much... Maybe my best sports coat which was close to $250
55. Who is the least fashionable person you know: Most of the people outside "the family." Although one of my renters probably takes the cake. Wow.
56. Do you match your belt with your hair color: Not so much. It's the shoes it matches.
57. What is the worst thing you've ever thought would look good: X-Large shirts on me.
58. How many pairs of shoes do you own: Hmmm... 14 I think.
59. What is the worst trend you see today:The "I use the bible to be anti-anything" trend. The red slide scares me.
RANDOM:
60. Do you do drugs : Not illegal ones.
61. What kind of shampoo do you use:Redken AllSoft or Kenneth Cole Reaction
62. What are you listening to right now:My launchcast station.
63. What are essentials in your life: Passion, the sun, friendship, challenge, myself.
64. Whats a break up song you are most likely to listen to while breaking up: When I break up, I normally listen to the good ones that talked about our relationship. If anything, I do listen toLover After Me by Savage Garden.
65. What are you doing for your birthday: Well I just had one, and that was fun. Next year though, I want to do something very different with a lot of the people I care about.66. What do you want for Christmas: I got one of my biggest wants. My company officers bought be an X-Box 360. Woot! Beyond that, there is a person that would do rather nicely.
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