A Snatched Life

Anyone who has talked to me for more than about 5 minutes will tell you that when I believe in a product or service, I am intensely passionate about it. So when asked to write a testimonial about my experience in the 6-Week "get fit" program called Snatched, I thought I was in for a no brainer exercise. What I realized as I sat down to write is that what happened in the last 6 weeks touched so many aspects of my life, that I was having a difficult time summing up exactly what it was about this program that affected me so much. It was at that point I realized it was time to dig in deep. Luckily I have this lovely space with which to expound upon thoughts and ideas as much as I please.

First the quick background. Mark Fisher Fitness (MFF). I had heard of this place because I work a lot with Broadway Cares, specifically with Broadway Bares, and this year MFF was a big sponsor, helping several of the dancers get where they wanted to be before the big show. Seeing their commitment to a cause I care about, it was no surprise that when I wanted to shake up my fitness life I looked towards them. When I went on their site, I was instantly hooked by the great atmosphere they seemed to project, including lots of glittery rainbows and epic unicorns. I could tell that they took their motto "Ridiculous Humans, Serious Fitness" very seriously. I was cracking up over phrases like "sex may count a your day's physical activity, but I'd have to see it in action to be sure" and "Not sure about us? Let's just hook up." I decided if I was goi
ng to do something, this is where I would go. All I needed was the catalyst.

If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, I guess sometimes the opposite can be true as well. I came to MFF after a hard break-up intent on using our vacation money to get what I affectionately referred to as my "revenge body." I heard about this program called "Snatched" that was meant to really get results and set you up for success in 6 weeks. I decided to take the plunge. What happened was surprising. I joined focused on revenge, and I left it focused on me.

The first day of Snatched consisted of only 2 things. Mark talking a lot, and the taking of "before" pictures. When Mark spoke, he gave us a lot of information, and I realized that I wasn't in for some standard boot camp. In fact he asked us not to call Snatched a boot camp, and after that first week, there's no way I could see it as one. The first thing that was apparent was that everyone there really cared. And they cared so much they wanted us to succeed no matter what kind of people we were. They knew that sitting in the audience were OCD types who needed exact specifications and measurements as much as there were ADD types who wanted the big picture and how to deal with the slip ups we were already planning on. They wanted to make sure that all of us got the same love and attention and were able to hit our goals whatever they may be.

During all of Snatched (and in general at MFF) we're always told to "run our own race." At first this was a bit exasperating. What was I doing if not asking for someone to tell me what to do? What I realized is that they were giving me the tools to find my own success. Tools that I could take with me after this 6 week bubble was over. I also realize, it put the definition of success squarely on my shoulders. Every single instructor talked about how we know ourselves better. Were we having a high energy day that we could push ourselves beyond what we normally did? Were we struggling a bit and needing to scale back? These were our choices. They were there to push us to push ourselves, not to push us to get anything done.

The most important thing that MFF gave me was community. Snatched in particular gave me a group of people who really supported me and what I wanted to do. It made me realize that any of my friends at work who said things like "Ugh you're going to the gym again?" or the like simply weren't worth listening to. It also made me realize that there are lots of people out there who were totally supportive of me, and that I should be drawn to them as much as possible! I think that this sense of support and community is created so much in Snatched and at MFF because of the staff. When I hire people, I always look for a "fit." Were I to guess, I think Mark makes that his absolute 100% deal-breaker in hiring decisions. There was not a person- not a single one- at the clubhouse who didn't introduce themselves if they hadn't met me, or use my name once they had. There isn't anyone on staff who I felt uncomfortable around despite putting myself in very vulnerable positions. This sense of community made it harder for me to even imagine missing a class. I went from at most hitting the gym a couple times a week to NEVER making it to less than 5 days a week. This was an incredible change for me.

One of the most annoying things that the trainers would say when I first started was "How you do anything is how you do everything." This first of all was very life-coachy, and not in the good ways. I was there to get fit, not hear stuff like this. Oh how wrong I was. It wasn't until nearly the end of the program that I started to understand what was actually being said. I did the gym the same way I did everything else. If I was passionate about it, I would give it my all. If not, well I would suck at it. What they did was remind me over and over again that if I really wanted this, I had to figure out how to make it work for ME. For me that was finding my passion. Finding my reason to come every single day and get my ass kicked. To find the sense of belonging that I would literally fell bereft without if I wasn't able to make it.

The last thing that I really got out of this program is how much the gym matters in the grand scheme of things. I used to go both ways. I'd beat myself up if I missed the gym, and laude myself if I made it there. It didn't matter if on the former days I was making otherwise super healthy choices or on the latter I ate 6 cupcakes at work. The gym was my definition of health. What I learned more than anything is that it is just a piece of the pie. It's important. And my dedication to getting there is an easy benchmark for my dedication to my health. But equally important are the other aspects of my life. What I eat, how much I sleep, how much I take care of myself. All are part of health, and all are important aspects of my life.

Snatched changed my body. The pictures show it, my friend's exclaimed comments show it, and every time I look in the mirror I see it. What I didn't expect Snatched to do was change the way I look at keeping myself healthy, and the way I factor that into my life. MFF and Snatched showed me that "Health and Hotness" is important, simple, and best done with friends. I won't pretend I didn't put a lot of work into what I did. But I learned that it is easier than I thought, especially since I have help. I learned that putting my body at the top of my priority list is as important as any other aspect of taking care of myself.

My 6 weeks of "Snatching" are over, but my journey into a Snatched life are just beginning. I didn't get everything I wanted in 6 weeks, and frankly, without a magic wand, I never would have. This is probably good. If I already had a 6 pack and great definition everywhere, what more would I have to work on? Instead these 6 weeks gave me the strength of self and the physical confidence to get exactly what I want. Being fit isn't a destination, it's a journey. I'm lucky enough to have unicorns, rainbows and ninjas on mine, and I couldn't be more excited.

To See or Not to See.

It has been said that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" but lately it has become clear that nearly everything is in the eye of the beholder. What I mean is this: people see what they want to see, and in more ways than we normally think. We sometimes notice this when someone we care about is being blind to a situation that is obvious to everyone else around the. In truth though, this extends far deeper into the way we notice things in the world, and therefore who and what they interact with, and the perceptions they have of reality. Let me illustrate this point for you with a few examples I have seen recently (names witheld).

Example 1: Several high school girls are crushing on their coach. For months they have held onto this infatuation without fail. The interesting thing is that time and time again, it comes up in random ways that the coach is actually gay. Though not insanely "on fire," he's not very shy about it. He sports clothes and accessories that support gay rights. His fellow coaches have mentioned it in passing on several occasions. Despite this fact, when the girls were approached about the crush, another teacher asked, "What if he's gay?" The response? "Clearly he's not gay. That's silly." All evidence exists to the contrary, and yet each instance, the girls create a story for themselves about why such things exist, not even allowing the thought of what is actually the truth.

Example 2: Three friends are in an area with a lot of people around them. After a while, they start talking about who was there. One of the friends says that there were a ridiculous amount of wardrobe malfunctions that were painful to see. Another friend said that there were about 5-6 really cute gay guys. To this, the final friend responded, "Really? There were cute gay guys? I didn't see any." Note that later when these gentlemen were pointed out, the final friend indeed agreed with their attractiveness. The fact is that he just simply never looks for guys. Not what he is focused on in his life, and therefore simply doesn't see them. Both the latter friends agreed to the atrocious clothes when they were pointed out, but again, fashion isn't their forte, so these "egregious errors" were nearly invisible to them

If one thought about it, almost anyone could list plenty of examples like this. Parents see in their kids the image of themselves or the hope of correcting the regrets of their own past. Lovers see in their partners the traits they want or the failings of their past relationships. The car lover will notice a shiny new BMW when his friend might instead notice the driver's silly expression. It's almost so natural that we don't even notice it, and yet it has major impacts on how we relate to the world. Lots of research has been done that says that optimists succeed more than pessimists. Several theories have come forth as to why that is. Books have been written about how "visualizing your success" can actually create it, etc. But what if the answer is more simple than all of that? What if it's simply the fact that optimists, who constantly see the glass as half-full just notice more avenues to success? If we only see what we want to see, a pessimist will see the road to failure even if a path to success were to be right beside them.

At the end of the day, the big questions are is this tendency we have as people good or bad, and what, if anything should we do about it? In some ways it is probably highly beneficial to us that we automatically filter so much out. There's a lot going on in the world, and even the most observant of people really can't take it all in. Our subconscious is smart enough to take care of all this excess information for us, letting us see things that mean something to us.

This of course still leaves us with the responsibility of opening our eyes to the things we really want, instead of falling prey to what we might call bad observational habits. Lots of people waste their time on looking for things that they want to hate. Looking to things that we like or love instead would save a whole lot of unhappiness. Though we can't all be optimists, taking a little time to look for the good in situations would ease a lot of burdens on people. Stopping ourselves every once in a while and looking for something different would definitely be worthwhile, rather than searching only for the familiar. Robert Frost told us all to take "the road less traveled." I whole heartedly agree, but my first bit of advice would be to make sure that we look hard enough to find this road.

Optimistic faith without gullibility

"You're very gullible." --Todd
"No Todd, I'm OPEN." --Cathy

As I was watching TV today, this quote struck me. The former was said because Cathy had mentioned occasionally consulting psychics, and wanting to have her cards read. Perhaps the writers were going for sarcasm, but I choose to take it as a very real debate on one of those fine lines that we tread in life. Cathy is a self proclaimed optimist, while Todd is a hard science MD who chooses "realism" over either the sunny side up or dark clouds abound ways of thinking. Some might say that realism is a nice happy medium between optimism and pessimism. In truth, I think that everyone is realistic in their own sense of reality, and that those who go with "realism" as a philosophy simply do it to either justify or temper their inclination to either extreme.

But where are the lines between reality and blind faith? Openness to being closed off? Optimism vs. Pessimism? Are any right? Is moderation always the key?

Optimists are by nature hopeful people who tend to be open to more possibilities than the average person. Many optimists are people of faith, because many religions preach hope... or pretend to. Interestingly enough, this is not a reverseable truth. You cannot say that most people of faith are optimists, nor that most people of science are pessimists. The reason? Neither science nor faith lends itself to optimism or pessimism. Pessmistic people of faith will always find the dark gloom of the religious doctrine. Optimistic scientists see excitement in the power of knowledge and it's progression.

But back to the original question, where is the sweet spot between the two? Many will say that it can be found, and those people who find it become the average and "realistic" middle. Of course, this is completely inaccurate. Though it is true that the average person is neither an optimist or a pessimist, this is neither realistic nor some great sweet spot. We are so often inclined to want everything in moderation, and to find the balance and the middle that we sometimes forget that we're not supposed to. Look at being smart. Is there a medium point we should hit? Of course not. Dumb is bad. Smart is good. The smarter the better. Of course we often overlook the fact that there are traits like that even when they would help us a great deal.

So first to tackle the "realism" issue, which is nicely illustrated in the original quote. Todd believes in only what can be proven. Cathy, it seems believes in a great deal, or at least the "possibility" of a great deal. Interestingly enough, in the end, according to history, Cathy will prove right... by science. That's right. The great tool of "realism" is historically that which proves people of faith correct. Let me note here that I am not using faith in a purely religious term. Lots of "religious" people have no faith, and lots of people of faith choose no religion. The people of faith that I refer to are those that somehow inherently know and believe that there is more out there. Of course we time and time again prove that this is true. Thousands of years ago those who had faith in great laws of the universe that governed all living things were men of faith. They may said these laws were governed by gods or by "magic" but it was the men of faith who believed that they existed.

I also would say that true people of faith, do not fight against science and facts. They simply believe that there are MORE facts that we don't know. Those who say that knowledge removes faith are those who are seriously lacking in... well... faith. It is totally plausible, and EFFECTIVE to believe the facts as fact, and to believe that there is more to it than we know. Some of the things that "realists" reject have strangely been around for a very very long time. Why is it that even in an age of mass information and science can we still sometimes be shocked at accuracy of "alternative" ideas and methods? Perhaps there is a reason these things seem to work a great deal. Perhaps we just aren't yet ready to figure out the science behind it all. Maybe our "reasons" for why something works isn't dead on, but maybe it works just the same. People of hope and of faith inherently understand this. People who destroy these ideas with no more proof than those who believe in them are only hindering their own possible knowledge.

On to the second issue of optimism vs. pessimism, this one should be as clear as the smart vs dumb argument, yet somehow it's not. When we're young we are born optimistic. We are called naive, and this is a derogatory statement. Innocent is slightly nicer, but in effect the idea is the more you know about the world, the more pessimistic you should be. Now most people would argue that we don't actually want people to be "pessimistic," just more realistic (there's that word again). People who are optimistic in love are "hopelessly romantic." Hopeless again such a derogatory term, and yet we use it in this context all the time. People who trust are suckers, people who don't run in fear are ignorant. You are allowed to be optimistic only until you fall flat on your face, have your heart broken, your trust betrayed, etc. and suddenly "know better."

So why is this bad? Shouldn't we temper the hope and light with some solid "protection" that a dash of pessimism can provide? NO. Why? What makes this seemingly reasonable idea bad? Because pessimism kills us and optimism gives us life. We are born optimistic for a reason. Science has proven time and time again that a good outlook on life increases your ability to fight disease, lengthens your life, and makes you a healthier person. Optimism provides for this in a way that pessimism never can. This is why there has never been a scientific study proving pessimists live longer. Ever. Yet time and time again the reverse is true. Despite all the "protection" and "safety" that pessimism and through it "realism" provides, those who choose this don't live as long as the optimists. Do optimists make mistakes? Do they trust when they shouldn't? Do they put themselves in harms way without always realizing it? Yep! Of course what is often forgotten is that so does EVERYONE. Who in this world, no matter how much "realism" they spout hasn't made errors in judgement, or taken the unsafe path? No one. This is the truth. We're all gullible at some point. We all assume we know more than we do. Pessimism doesn't protect you. No one has the ability to be infallible, and therefore any amount of protection will be imperfect. By choosing optimism, you create a happier situation to live in when trouble isn't on the horizon rather than living in darkness. Further, optimism gives you the strength, hope, and IDEAS to get back up again when you've been knocked down. An optimist is like a rubber ball. It'll hit the ground, but it will always bounce back. Realism is like a lead ball. When it falls, it finds it hard to ever move again, because it traps itself in the "reality" it finds itself in. Pessimism is more like an egg. It has this amazing shell that protects it. Unfortunately, that shell can't hold forever, and when it finally breaks, the soft insides just spill all over.

Everyone can choose what they will. I have always chosen to believe in more than what I know, and to know in my heart that things in truth are bright and good. The sun is always shining, even if we can't see it. Looking only at the darkness will only blind us to the light when it comes back out again.